外國最新英語幽默笑話精粹241：關(guān)于降落傘(中英)
You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute.
你是一架失控飛機(jī)上兩名乘客中的一名，現(xiàn)在只有一個(gè)降落傘。
Pessimist: you refuse the parachute because you might die in the jump anyway.
悲觀主義者:你拒絕使用降落傘，因?yàn)榧词鼓闾氯ヒ矔?huì)死。
Optimist: you refuse the parachute because people have survived jumps just like this before.
樂觀主義者:你拒絕使用降落傘，因?yàn)樵?jīng)有人不用降落傘跳下去也能活。
Procrastinator: you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.
慢性子:你玩一盤強(qiáng)手棋來決定是否拿降落傘。
Lawyer: you charge the airline for one parachute.
律師:因?yàn)橹挥幸粋€(gè)降落傘，你要控訴航空公司。
Doctor: you need to run more tests，and then take the parachute.
醫(yī)生:在你拿降落傘以前你要仔細(xì)的檢查多遍。
Sales executive: you sell the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of the other guy’s friends and relatives who might like one too.
銷售代表:你以最高的零售價(jià)把降落傘賣給另一個(gè)人，然后要來他的親戚朋友的名字，問他們是否也想要一個(gè)。
Internal Revenue Service: you confiscate the parachute along with the other guy’s luggage and wallet.
國內(nèi)稅收員:你把降落傘連同另一個(gè)人的行李和錢包一起沒收。
Advertiser: you sing that what he need is a neon parachute with computer altimeter for only $39. 99.
廣告商:你唱出他們需要的是一個(gè)尼龍降落傘和一個(gè)電腦高度計(jì)，只賣三十九點(diǎn)九九美元。
Engineer; you make him another parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss.
工程師:你用走廊的窗簾和牙線為另一個(gè)人再做一個(gè)降落傘。
Scientist: you give him the parachute and ask him to send you a report on how well it worked.
科學(xué)家:你把降落傘給另一個(gè)人，然后叫他們寄給你一份降落傘怎樣工作的報(bào)告。
Mathematician: you refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases.
數(shù)學(xué)家:如果不能證明降落傘在任何情況下都能正常使用你拒絕使用降落傘。
Philosopher: you ask how he knows the parachute actually exists.
哲學(xué)家:你問另一個(gè)人降落傘他怎么知道降落傘確實(shí)存在。
English Teacher; you explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions.
英語老師:你會(huì)在降落傘的說明書里找出哪里是明喻哪里是暗喻。
Comparative Literature: you read the parachute instructions in all four languages.
比較文學(xué)學(xué)者:你會(huì)通讀降落傘說明上的四種語言。
Computer Scientist: you design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could.
電腦專家:你會(huì)設(shè)計(jì)一個(gè)能和人一樣操縱降落傘的機(jī)器。
Psychoanalyst: you ask him what the shape of a parachute reminds him of.
心理醫(yī)生:你會(huì)問另一個(gè)人降落傘的形狀會(huì)讓他想起什么。
Artist: you hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.
藝術(shù)家:你會(huì)把降落傘掛在墻上，然后在上面簽上名字。
Libertarian: after reminding him of his constitutional right to have a parachute，you take it and jump out.
自由論者:你會(huì)提醒另一個(gè)人他擁有憲法賦予的拿降落傘的權(quán)利，然后你拿起來跳出去。
Surgeon General: you issue a warning that skydiving can be hazardous to your health.
外科醫(yī)生:你會(huì)提出跳傘運(yùn)動(dòng)有害健康的警告。
National Rifle Association: you shoot him and take the parachute.
國家槍械協(xié)會(huì)會(huì)員:你開槍打死另一個(gè)人然后拿走降落傘。
Police Bigot: you beat him unconscious with the parachute.
頑固的警察:你會(huì)用降落傘打得另一個(gè)人不省人事。
Environmentalist: you refuse to use the parachute unless it is biodegradable.
環(huán)保主義者:除非能證明降落傘是生物可分解的，否則你拒絕使用降落傘。
Sports Fan: you start betting on how long it will take to crash.
體育迷:你開始打賭飛機(jī)多長時(shí)間會(huì)墜毀。
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