一周笑話節選（一）
事情的起因是這樣的，哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·蓋茨某次歸家，發現進不去家門了，不知道是不是美國沒有開鎖公司，這位教授就和司機一起決定破門而入。估計這位教授平時一直悶頭搞研究不太出門，所以鄰居也不太認識他，看到有人闖門就報警了。于是克勞力警官就趕來逮捕了教授。本來說清楚也就沒事了，問題在于是一個白人警察逮捕了一個黑人教授，最后還被證明抓錯了。于是引起了軒然大波，教授說警察種族歧視，警察說教授威脅他自己依法辦案沒什么錯。最后的解決辦法就是奧巴馬請兩人到白宮召開“啤酒峰會”，大家坐在一起，喝點小酒聊聊家常最好就大事化小小事化無了。于是這件事成了上周被談論的熱點問題。
"To ease tensions, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the police officer who arrested him to join him for a beer at the White House. And if that works out, Obama's going to have Ahmadinejad and Netanyahu over for Jaegerbombs." --Conan O'Brien
為了緩解緊張局面，奧巴馬總統請了哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·蓋茨和逮捕了教授的警察到白宮一起喝杯啤酒。如果這有效的話，奧巴馬就會請艾哈邁德-內賈德和內塔尼亞胡一起來點紅牛。——柯南·奧布萊恩
"He invited the professor and the cop to come to the White House on Thursday for beer. Alcohol usually cools things off. Have you noticed that? That's where you want to go." --David Letterman
他請了教授和警察周四一起到白宮喝啤酒。酒精總是會冷卻一切。你注意到那個問題了嗎？這就是你想去某個地方的原因。——大衛·萊特曼
"They had the big beer summit earlier tonight at the White House. President Obama had a beer with Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the policeman who arrested him. The meeting got off to a rough start when a neighbor called the police to say Gates was breaking into the White House." --Conan O'Brien
他們今晚在白宮舉行了一個大型啤酒峰會。奧巴馬總統和哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·蓋茨還有那個逮捕他的警察。會議的開始很艱難，因為一個鄰居打電話給警察說蓋茨正在闖入白宮。——柯南·奧布萊恩
"Big beer fest at the White House. And today, Obama sent Vice President Biden on an emergency goodwill mission for pretzels, so that will be good." --David Letterman
白宮的一個啤酒盛會。然后今天，奧巴馬派副總統喬·拜登出席一個緊急的椒鹽脆餅干親善任務，所以這應該挺好的。——大衛·萊特曼
"Of course, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the policeman who arrested him to the White House. Reportedly, Obama is going to serve them Budweiser. And in the spirit of racial harmony, Budweiser is changing its nickname from the 'King of Beers' to the 'Martin Luther King of Beers.'" --Conan O'Brien
當然啦，奧巴馬總統已經邀請了哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·蓋茨和那個逮捕他的警察一起到白宮。據報道，奧巴馬將用百威啤酒招待他們。在種族和睦的精神下，百威的別稱從“啤酒之王”改成了“啤酒中的馬丁·路德·金”。——柯南·奧布萊恩
"People were so fascinated by what beer they were drinking. Apparently Gates had Red Stripe, Crowley had Blue Moon, and Obama, just to screw with the conservatives, had a 40 of King Cobra." --Bill Maher
人們都對他們喝的啤酒著迷了。很顯然蓋茨喝的是牙買加紅帶，克勞力的是藍月，而奧巴馬，為了給保守派們添添亂，喝的是40盎司的蛇王啤酒。——比爾·馬赫
"The police officer, Officer Crowley ... apparently, he said Henry Louis Gates was threatening. And by threatening, of course, he meant he was an educated black man." --Bill Maher
這位警官、克勞力警官，顯然，他曾經說過亨利·路易斯·蓋茨曾經威脅他。而這個威脅，很顯然，他的意思是他是一個受過教育的黑人。——比爾·馬赫
"So, I don't know if this is a case of racism. The police in Cambridge say it had nothing to do with Gates being black. They said they would have given the same treatment to any minority." --Bill Maher
所以，我也不知道這是不是種族主義的官司。劍橋市警察說這和蓋茨是不是黑人完全無關。他們說他們會給任何少數派同等的待遇。——比爾·馬赫
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