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        一堵空白的墻

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         Never ever had he been so thirsty for a look at the world outside the window like now.

          The disease befell so furiously that he could not be spared and was arranged in a small ward with another patient in the segregation area in a hospital. The ward had nothing other than a small window that connected to the outside world.

          His roommate was allowed to sit up in bed because some medical instruments would take some liquid out of his lung every afternoon. His roommate’s bed was tightly close to the window, while he could only lie in bed all day long.

          Every afternoon, when sitting up by the window, his roommate would gleefully tell him the ongoing scenes outside the window: Seen through the window, a lake was lying placidly in the park, on which there were ducks and swans. Children were happily casting pieces of bread to the fish or playing with their model ships. Young lovers were leisurely walking strolling hand in hand under the trees. Some people were playing balls in the grass with plenty of flowers blooming. Above the farthest row of trees was the beautiful sky.

          He was listening attentively and enjoying every precious minute of life. He was told that a child almost fell into the lake and that an attractive girl was dressed in a delicate skirt. His roommate’s vivid depiction made him feel like seeing the real scene with his own eyes. The picture of life was so harmonious and loving!

          In a slightly rainy dusk, he felt not reconciled to his situation suddenly: Why could his roommate enjoy the beautiful landscapes outside the window while he couldn’t? He felt deeply upset as if a bug was eating through his heart. The more he thought, the more eagerly he would like to exchange his position with his roommate’s.

          In the midnight, he stared at the ceiling and sank into thought. All of a sudden, his roommate was coughing heavily and wanted to call the nurse, but failed to reach the button of the bell. He pretended to be sound asleep, but after second thought he wanted to press the bell button….. In his hesitation of seconds, he stunningly found that his mate had stopped breathing.

          On his roommate’s death, he felt lonely, greatly miserable and guilty for not saving him. The doctor thought that he did not want to face an empty bed every day, so he promised to change another ward for him. Just the moment he was lifted on the stretcher, he spotted the scene outside the window—a pale wall.

          他從來沒有像現在這樣,如此強烈地渴望窗外的世界。

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          疫疾來得兇猛,他不能幸免。他和另外一個患者被安排在一家人民醫院隔離區的小病房里。房間空空落落,只有一扇小窗連接外面的世界。

          同室病友在治療中,每天下午,將有儀器從他肺中抽取液體,因此,他被允許坐在床上。病友的床緊靠著窗,而他只能終日平躺在床上。

          每天下午,睡在窗旁的那個人坐起來,都會饒有興致地給他講一些窗外的情景:從窗口向外看可以看到公園里的湖;湖內有鴨子和天鵝,孩子們在那兒撒面包片,放模型船: 年輕的戀人在樹下攜手散步,在鮮花盛開、綠草如茵的地方有人玩球嬉戲,后頭一排樹頂上則美麗的天空。

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          他靜靜地傾聽著,享受生命里每一分鐘。他聽見一個孩子差點跌到湖里, 一個美麗的女孩穿著漂亮的裙子 。同伴的描述使他如同親歷外面的美景。生命的圖畫如此和諧,讓他眷戀。

          一個小雨的黃昏,他突然心有不甘:為什么睡在床邊的人可以獨享窗外的世界,他覺得不是滋味,心里似有小蟲在啃噬,攪得難受。他越這么想,就越想與那人調換一下位子。

          夜里,他盯著天花板發呆。病友忽然拼命地咳嗽,想叫護士,卻沒有摸著緊靠床邊的按鈴。他先是假裝睡熟,后來稍一轉念想按床鈴……就在這幾秒鐘的猶豫之中,他吃驚地發現,同伴停止了呼吸…

          病友離去,寂寞的他陷入自責中而悲痛萬分。醫生以為他不想面對那一張空床,答應給他調換一個房間。當他被護士抬起時,驀地,他看到了窗外的景致——一堵空白的墻。

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