賴世雄讀英語笑話學英語之高尚職業笑話(8)：頭腦要保持冷靜！(雙語)
Unit 8 Keep Your Head! 頭腦要保持冷靜！
A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer asked him for half a head of cabbage.
有一個年輕人在一家雜貨店的農產部門工作，一天一位顧客要向他買半顆包心菜
“Sir, we don’t sell half heads of anything.”
“先生，我們東西都沒有賣半顆的。”
“Well, I insist; I only want half a head.”
“哎呀，我就買半顆，我只要半顆。”
“I’ll ask the manager.”
“我 要問問經理才行。”
The young man walked to the manager’s office and, not realizing that the customer had followed him, said to the manager, “Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage.”
那名年輕人走到經理的辦公室，不知道那位顧客尾隨著他，他對經理說道“：經理，有個渾蛋只要買半顆包心菜。”
Turing and noticing the customer, he quickly added, “And this gentleman wants the other half.”
他轉身發現那名顧客，立刻又補充說：“而這位先生要買另一半。”
Later, the manager took the young man aside and said, “That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higher position opening up, I’ll keep you in mind.”
稍后，經理把他拉到一旁說道“：年輕人，你反應真快。我們需要像你這么聰明的人，如果有較高的職位空缺，我會記得你的。”
Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager’s spot had become vacant in the company’s store in Edmonton.
幾個星期之后，經理告訴那名年輕人在艾得蒙敦分店有個襄理的職位空缺。
“Edmonton!” blurted out the young man. “Why, there’s nothing in Edmonton but hookers and hockey players!”
“艾得蒙敦！”年輕人叫了出來“，那兒有的只是妓女和曲棍球選手而已。”
“Yong man, my wife happens to come from Edmonton!”
“年輕人，我太太剛好來自艾得蒙敦！”
“No kidding, sir; what position does she play?”
“真的嗎？經理，那她是打哪一個位置呢？”
英語知識點解說：
1.produce n. 農產品（集合名詞，不可數）vt.生產；制造
produce section 農產部
例：You get the freshest produce at the farmer's market.
（在農民的市場上你可買到最新鮮的農產品。）
2.grocery n. 食品雜貨（尤指蔬菜，常用復數）
grocery store 食品雜貨店
至于另有柜臺專門賣藥的雜貨店則為 drugstore。
3.a head of cabbage 一顆包心菜
4.insist vi. 堅持
insist on... 堅持……
例：If you always insist on having your own way, you'll never be popular.
（如果你總是堅持己見的話，將永遠不會受到歡迎。）
5.take sb aside 把某人叫到一旁
例：The teacher took the naughty boy aside and gave him a stern warning.
（老師把那名頑皮的男孩子叫到一旁嚴重警告他。）
6.bright a. 光明的；聰明的（=clever）
look on the bright side of things 看事情光明的一面
例：An optimist always looks on the bright side of things.
（樂觀者總是看事情光明的一面。）
7.lad n. 少年
8.keep sb/sth in mind 牢記某人／某事物
例：Keep the saying in mind, "As you sow, so shall you reap."
（牢記這句俗話“：一分耕耘，一分收獲。”）
9.assistant manager 襄理，助理
10.vacant a. 空缺的；無人的
vacancy n. 空缺；空房間
例：When you see the "VACANCY" sign outside of a motel, it means that there are still some rooms available.
（當你看見汽車旅館外頭打出“VACANCY” ，的告示時，那表示尚有房間可租。）
11.blurt vt. 不假思索地沖口而出
blurt out... 信口說出……
例：Don't just blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind; think before you speak.
（不要口無遮攔，想一想再說！）
12.hooker n. 妓女
=whore, prostitute
13.hockey n. 曲棍球
hockey player 曲棍球選手
14.No kidding！你在開玩笑吧！
=Are you kidding (me)?
本文地址：http://www.autochemexpert.com/writing/humor/7125.html
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