Legal Humor
Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are 22 questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses: "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
"Were you present when your picture was taken?"
"Were you alone or by yourself?"
"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
"Did he kill you?"
"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
"How many times have you committed suicide?"
Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"
Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"
Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."
Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."
Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."
Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."
Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."
Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
英語 笑話本文地址：http://www.autochemexpert.com/writing/humor/41000.html
相關(guān)文章
-
雙語笑話：是誰打破了玻璃
Billy: Mother, Bobby broke a window.Mother: How did he do it?Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.比利：媽媽，波比打壞了窗玻璃。媽媽：他怎么打的？比利：我向他扔石頭，他躲開了。參...
2018-11-26 英語笑話 -
趣味圖片英語笑話：confidence 信心（雙語）
Check out that guy! He must know a lot about music ...看看那個(gè)家伙!他必須知道很多關(guān)于音樂的……I've lost all confidence我已經(jīng)失去了所有的信心 更多 英語笑話、...
2018-11-06 英語笑話 -
英語沙龍-開心樂園-03
Lift An American visiting England walked into a hotel lobby and pushed a button for elevator service．“The lift will be down presently，”said a nearby clerk．“The lift？”said th...
2018-11-22 英語笑話 -
Police Joke(15)
Holidays around the precinct are always lively，especially in the 911 areas. One particular night，a drunk calls in，and the following communication began： “911，what is your emergency？” “Osife...
2019-01-02 英語笑話 -
那是因?yàn)槲覀冞€沒結(jié)婚呢。
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.Boy: It's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles.G...
2018-11-27 英語笑話 -
趣味圖片英語笑話：cheese platte 奶酪拼盤（雙語）
Samuel Beckett - with and without a cheese platter塞繆爾·貝克特——有與沒有奶酪拼盤 更多 英語笑話、英語小笑話、英文笑話、英語幽默小故事 相關(guān)文章和資料，請...
2018-11-07 英語笑話 -
“過早采購”也是一種犯罪--雙語幽默笑話
An offender was brought to trial before a judge. The judge asked him, "What is the crime you have committed?" 有個(gè)犯人被帶到法官面前審案，法官問他：“你犯了什么罪？” The offender said, "I went s...
2018-10-30 英語笑話 -
You might have an idea
The phone rang at the firehouse just five minutes after the men had all retired for their afternoon nap." It's a terrible blaze at my house，" the voice frantically cried." the flames are lickin...
2018-12-27 英語笑話
