悶騷狗與腹黑貓的爆笑生活日記

　　Excerpts from a Dog's Diary....
　　摘自一只狗的生活日記……
　　8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
　　上午8點-狗糧！我的最愛！
　　9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
　　上午9點30分-兜風！我的最愛！
　　9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
　　上午9點40分-公園遛我！我的最愛！
　　10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
　　上午10點30分-被主人撫摸和寵愛！我的最愛！
　　12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
　　中午12點-午飯！我的最愛！
　　1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
　　中午1點-在院子里玩耍！我的最愛！
　　3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
　　下午3點-搖搖我的小尾！我的最愛！
　　5:00 pm - Milk & bones! My favourite thing!
　　下午5點-牛奶+骨頭！我的最愛！
　　6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath. Bummer。
　　晚上6點-噢，洗澡澡，我的最愛！
　　7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
　　晚上7點-玩球！我的最愛！
　　8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
　　晚上8點-噢！和主人一起看電視！我的最愛！
　　11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
　　晚上11點-睡床上！我的最愛！

　　Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary.。
　　摘自一只貓的生活日記…
　　Day 983 of my captivity。
　　這是我被囚禁的第983天。
　　My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects。
　　逮捕我的人類依舊在耍我，這次還用了一個奇怪的晃蕩的玩意兒。
　　They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength。
　　人類吃得很豐盛，進他們肚子的都是新鮮肉，而我和其它被囚禁者只能吃一些大雜燴或是干硬塊。盡管我極度鄙視我所分得的配額食糧，但我還是得吃下去，因為我要保證我有充足的體力。
　　The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet。
　　逃走是我的夢想，也是鞭策著我繼續生存下去的動力。為了惡心他們，我一次又一次地吐在地毯上。
　　Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards。
　　今天，我咬死了一只老鼠，然后將無頭的老鼠尸體扔到了那幫人的腳旁示威。我本想我的所作所為會讓人類心中一震，讓他們看到我的能力。結果意想不到的是，他們只是居高臨下地拋下一句話：“真棒啊，小獵人”。一幫混蛋。
　　There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage。
　　今晚人類和他們的同謀在這里集會。在集會期間我被關了禁閉。即便如此，我還是聽到集會的嘈雜聲，聞到了食物的香味。我還偷聽到，是我的致過敏能力導致我被關禁閉。我必須弄懂其中的真正意義，并要為我所用。
　　Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs。
　　今天，我嘗試了一次暗殺行動，差一點就成功了：一個邪惡的人類在走路時，我在他的腳旁來回穿梭。明天我要再試一次，我要在樓梯的最高處行動。
　　I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded。
　　這里的其它囚犯都是一些走狗和告密者，對此我深信不疑。那條狗獲得了特權，定期會被放風，不過它似乎很樂意回到監獄。這狗很明顯非常遲鈍。
　　The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now..........。。
　　那鳥肯定是一個告密者。我注意到它定期和守衛交流。我敢肯定，它將我的一舉一動都上報給守衛。人類為他提供了保護性拘留，安排了一個高級的囚房，因此那鳥會很安全。但，那只是暫時的……

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