英漢雙語(yǔ)笑話100

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1.

A society youth writes ironically to the young lady in the case：“Dear Miss Smith， perhaps you remember I proposed to you last night， and I do not now recall whether you said yes，or no．”

“Dear George， I remember I said‘no’ to someone last night， but I had forgotten who it was．”

我忘了那人是誰(shuí)

一個(gè)社交界的青年給一位年輕女士挖苦地寫道：“親愛的史密斯小姐，您也許記得我昨晚向您求婚，但我現(xiàn)在記不起您到底是答應(yīng)了還是沒(méi)答應(yīng)。”

“親愛的喬治，我記得昨晚是對(duì)一個(gè)人說(shuō)了‘不’，但忘了那人是誰(shuí)。”

2.

Uncle Silas had lighted his pipe for a comfortable smoke，when Aunt Rebecca looked up from her knitting and said：“Silas，do you know that Sunday next will be the thirtieth anniversary of our wedding？”

“I swan，”said Silas，“is that so，and what about it？”

“Oh，nothing，”said Aunt Rebecca，“only thought may be we ought to kill them two Rhode Island Red chickens．”

“But，Rebecca，”said Uncle Silas，“how can you blame them two Rhode Island Red chickens for what happened thirty years ago？”

賽拉斯大叔點(diǎn)燃了煙斗想好好吸一口，麗貝卡大媽織著毛衣抬眼說(shuō)：“賽拉斯，你知不知道下星期日是我們結(jié)婚三十周年？”

“老天哪，”賽拉斯說(shuō)，“是嗎？那又怎么樣？”

“噢，沒(méi)什么，”麗貝卡大媽應(yīng)道，“我只是想，也許我們?cè)摪涯莾芍涣_得島紅雞宰了。”

“可是，麗貝卡，”賽拉斯大叔說(shuō)，“你怎么能夠把三十年前發(fā)生的事怪到那兩只羅得島紅雞的頭上呢？”

3.

A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor．

“When I was first married，I was very happy． I'd come home from a hard day down at the shop，and my little dog would race around barking，and my wife would bring me my slippers．Now everything's changed．When I come home，my dog brings me my slippers，and my wife barks at me．”

“I don't know what you're complaining about，”said the counselor．“You're still getting the same service．”

汪汪叫的妻子

一個(gè)結(jié)婚十年的男人正在請(qǐng)教一位婚姻顧問(wèn)。

“剛結(jié)婚那會(huì)兒，我非常幸福。我在店里勞累一天回到家，我的小狗會(huì)繞著我跑，汪汪叫，而我的妻子給我拿來(lái)拖鞋。現(xiàn)在一切都變了。我回到家里，我的狗給我拿來(lái)拖鞋，我的妻子對(duì)著我汪汪叫。”

“我不知道你在抱怨什么，”婚姻顧問(wèn)說(shuō)。“你得到的服務(wù)還是一樣的呀。”

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