英漢雙語笑話70

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1.

Stunning Reply 出色的回答

My five-year-old son was not picking up his toys while I was preparing dinner as I had asked him. When I inquired why he wasn't doing his chores, he said that he didn't feel like it. Exasperated, I said, "Where would you be right now if I didn't feel like making dinner?"

　　He thought for a moment and then replied, " A restaurant?"

出色的回答

　　我在準備晚飯的時候，我叫年僅五歲的兒子把玩具都收拾起來。當我問他為什么沒做他的差事時，他說他不想做。我感到有些惱火，就對他說：“要是我說我不想做晚飯，這時你會在哪里呢？”

　　他略加思索便回答說：“在飯店里？”

2.

Diet Tribe

Mom was very proud that she'd lost ten pounds. On the way to the store with my husband and me she talked of little else. We dropped her off in the lingerie department, but when we returned, we couldn't find her. Thinking she might be in the fitting room, I asked the saleswoman if she had seen my mother. "What does she look like?" the clerk asked.

　　My husband said simply, "She just lost ten pounds.

　　"Third door on the left." the woman replied with a smile.

節(jié)食族

　　媽媽為她減肥十磅而非常自豪。在和我們小兩口一起去商場的路上，她別無所談。我們把她送到女內(nèi)衣部，在那兒分手，但當我們回來找她時，卻找不見她。我想她也許會在試衣室，就問售貨員是否見過我母親。“她長得什么樣？”這位職員問。

　　我丈夫直截了當?shù)卣f：“她剛減了十磅。”

　　“左邊第三個門，”女售貨員笑瞇瞇地回答。

3.

The Cat and the Saucer

An antiques collector was passing a small shop when he noticed a cat on the sidewalk out front, licking milk from a saucer. The man immediately realized the saucer was very old and valuable. He stepped into the shop with an uninterested look and asked to buy the cat. "I'm sorry, " the shop owner said, "but the cat is not for sale: "

　　"Please, " the collector urged, "I need a cat around my house to catch mice. I'll give you 20 dollars. "

　　"The cat is yours," the owner said taking the money.

　　"Listen," the collector added, "I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer as well. The cat seems to like it and I'd hate to have him give it up. "

　　"Sorry," the shop owner answered, "but that saucer brings me luck. Why, just this week I've sold 68 cats!"

貓與托盤

　　一個古董收集者正路過一個小店。他發(fā)現(xiàn)店前人行道上一只貓在舔一個托盤上的牛奶。這個人立刻意識到這個托盤是個值錢的古物。他帶著一種毫無興趣的表情步入店內(nèi)，要買那只貓。“對不起，”店主說，“這只貓是不賣的。”

“賣給我吧，”收集者敦促道，“我家里面需要一只貓來捉老鼠。我給你20元。”

　　“貓歸你了，”店主接過錢說道。

　　“還有，”收集者補充道，“我想你是否能把那只舊盤子也額外贈送給我。貓好像很喜歡它。我不愿意看到它失去這東西。”

　　“對不起，”店主回答說，“但那只托盤能給我?guī)砗眠\。你不知道，光這一周，我就賣掉68只貓！”

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