英漢雙語笑話29
TWO HEARTS BEATING
Nurse: How do you feel after your operation?
Patient: Quite alright, only I can feel two hearts beating inside me.
Nurse: No wonder the doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now.
兩顆心臟在跳動
護士：手術后你感覺怎樣？
病人：十分好，只是我能感覺到我體內有兩顆心臟在跳動。
護士：怪不得給你做手術的大夫剛才在到處尋找他的手表。
2.
AN ANGRY WIFE'S PRAYER
A man is so addicted to gambling that he often comes home late. His wife never stops railing at him. Once he is detained at his office and comes home late. His wife accuses him of gambling again but he swears he was detained in his office. "I pray to God that you are speaking the truth", his wife says.
"May God strike me dead if I am lying."
"Then I pray to God that you are lying", his wife said hopefully.
一個發怒妻子的祈禱
一個男人因嗜賭而經常回家很晚，為此他妻子從沒停止過罵他。一次他因工作很晚回到家后，他妻子指責他又去賭博了，可他發誓說這次是因為工作。"我祈禱上帝你說的是實話，"妻子說。
"如果我說謊上帝便賜我于死。"
"那我祈禱上帝你是在說謊。"他妻子充滿希望地說。
3.
SHE'D RATHER BUY A GIFT
While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday. "That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey." Mom pondered that idea and then replied "I'd rather buy you a gift."
她寧愿買一件禮物
旅途中，媽媽想起她忘記給爸爸買一件生日禮物。"沒關系，"他說，"我最想要的東西是你的愛、忠貞和溫順。"媽媽沉思片刻后回答說，"我寧愿給你買一件禮物。"
4.
ONLY A FEW WORDS
At a court the judge is interrogating a mugger but gets into difficulty because the mugger is a foreigner who doesn't speak English. "Don't you speak English at all?" the judge asks. "Only a few words," replies the mugger.
"What words do you know?"
"Your purse or your life!"
幾個英語詞
法庭上法官正審問一個搶劫犯，由于該犯是一個不會說英語的外國人，審問很困難。"你一點英語都不會說嗎？"法官問。"我只會說幾個詞。"搶劫犯回答。
"你會說哪幾個詞？"
"你是要錢還是要命！"
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