英漢雙語笑話3
我忘了那人是誰
A society youth writes ironically to the young lady in the case：“Dear Miss Smith， perhaps you remember I proposed to you last night， and I do not now recall whether you said yes，or no．”
“Dear George， I remember I said‘no’ to someone last night， but I had forgotten who it was．”
我忘了那人是誰
一個社交界的青年給一位年輕女士挖苦地寫道：“親愛的史密斯小姐，您也許記得我昨晚向您求婚，但我現在記不起您到底是答應了還是沒答應。”
“親愛的喬治，我記得昨晚是對一個人說了‘不’，但忘了那人是誰。”
2.
父親的東西
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tallas his father，so he began to borrow Mr．Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening．
Mr．Howard did not like this， and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things．
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out， his father stopped him in the hall． He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully．
Then he said angrily，“Isn't that one of my ties，Tom？”
“Yes，Father，it is，”answered Tom．
“And that shirt's mine too，isn't that one of my ties，Tom？”
“Yes，that's yours too，”answered Tom．
“And you're wearing my belt！” said Mr．Howard．
“Yes， I am， Father，”answered Tom．“You don't want your trousers to fall down， do you？”
父親的東西
湯姆·霍華德17歲的時候，長得和他父親一般高了，于是當他想和朋友晚上一起出去時，就開始借穿起霍華德先生的衣服來。
霍華德先生可不喜歡這樣，所以，當他發現兒子穿了他的什么衣服時，就總是十分惱火。
一天晚上，正當湯姆走下樓來要出去時，父親在門廳里攔住了他。他細細地打量著湯姆身上的穿著。
然后他氣呼呼地說：“湯姆，那不是我的一條領帶嗎？”
湯姆回答說：“是的，父親，是你的領帶。”
他的父親又繼續問：“還有那襯衫也是我的，對吧？”
湯姆回答說：“是的，那也是你的。”
霍華德先生說：“還有，你連皮帶也是用我的！”
湯姆回答說：“是呀，父親。你總不希望讓你的褲子掉下來吧，是嗎？”
3.
I Didn't Notice It
Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?
Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn't notice the other.
我沒有看到它
母親：約翰尼，今天早上我在食品櫥里放了兩塊蛋糕，現在只剩下一塊了，你說是怎么回事？
約翰尼：哦，我想是因為里面太黑，我沒有看見另一塊。
4.
He Was Only Wrong by Two
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren't always smart enought to be accepted by the college.
One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I'd better ask him a few questions first."
Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn't know any of the answers.
At last the dean said, "Well, what's five times seven?"
The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."
The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."
他的得數只比正確答案多二
杰克霍金斯是美國一所學院的橄欖球隊教練，他竭力想物色好球員。但是好球員學業不行，院方不愿錄取。
有一天，教練帶著一位優秀的年輕球員去見院長，希望院方同意他免試入學。經過一番勸說后院長說：“那我最好先問問他幾個問題。”
然后他轉向學生，問了幾個非常簡單的問題。可是那個學生一個也答不上來。
最后院長說：“那么，五乘七得多少？”
學生想了很久，然后回答說：“三十六。”
院長攤開雙手失望地看了看教練。可是教練認真地說，“噢，錄取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正確答案多二。”
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