外國最新英語幽默笑話精粹57：春季種植 (中英)
The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients，demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediate1y. He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities interfered with his rest… and on，and on.
一位將軍因為一點小病在一所軍隊醫院里接受治療。整整一周他都在挑刺找麻煩，這使醫院的工作人員和病友們對他很反感。他苛刻的要求他的每個命令都要得到執行。他住在一個六人病房里，他的飯不能是涼的，也不能不合他的口味，就連燈光也要調到他需要的亮度，夜里有什么動靜也不能影響他的休息，等等。
One afternoon an orderly entered the room. "Time to take your temperature, General.”
一天下午一個勤務兵走進病房。“該測體溫了，將軍。”
After growling at the orderly，the general opened his mouth to accept the thermometer.
在和這個勤務兵咆哮了一通之后，將軍張開了他的嘴同意測量體溫。
"Sorry, General，but for this test we need your temperature from the other end.”
“對不起，將軍，但是這回要測的是您直腸溫度。”
A whole new barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly was insistent that a rectal temperature was what the test called for. The general at last rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed the orderly to proceed. The orderly then told the general, "Stay exactly like that and don' t move. I’11 be back in five minutes to check up on you and withdraw.”
又一陣瘋狂的言語辱罵之后，那個勤務兵執意堅持要測的是直腸體溫。最后，將軍翻了過去，脫下了褲子，接著衛兵開始了測量。那個勤務兵對將軍說:“就這樣不要動，我五分鐘后回來檢查后再拿出來。”
An hour later, the head nurse entered the room. saw the general with his bare rear in the air and gasped，" W hat’s going on here?”
一個小時之后，護十長走進病房，看見將軍露著他的屁股就問:“這是怎么回事？”
"Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" the general barked.
“你沒看見有人正在接受體溫測量嗎?”那個將軍大聲嚷道。
"Yes I have，General，but with a daffodil?"
“是的，我看見了。將軍，但是那不是溫度計而是一棵水仙呀。”
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