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        當希臘人遇到希臘人

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        When Greek Meets Greek

        It is said among business men that it requires twelve Jews to cheat a Genoese; but twelve Genoese are not enough tocheat a Greek… Only one person, that I ever heard of, enjoys the not very enviable distinction of having cheatednot merely one Greek, but two.
        He Was a Bari man.
        He was returning to Italy, but had no bootsor rather, the things he had were no longer boots. He carefully counted up his money, found that he had not enough to buy a newpair, and so quieted his conscience. Then he went to a shoemaker's in the Street of Hermes.②
        "I want a pair of shoes by Monday morning,to fit me ex actly, with round toes," etc.; in short, he gave the fullest directions.
        "Certainly,sir.You shall have them Without fail.They shall be sent to your house at ten on Monday morning."
        The Bari man left his address and departed.
        In the Street of Eolus he entered another shoemaker'sshop and ordered a precisely similar pair of shoes in the sameterms.
        "Have I made myself understood?"
        "Perfectly. Let me have the address,and on Monday atten——"
        "I shall not be in at ten.Dont't send them before eleven."
        At eleven you may count on having them,without fail."
        On Monday at ten the first victim appeared.The gentleman tried on the shoes; the right was a perfect fit, the left wasfearfully tight over the instep; it wanted stretching a little.
        "All right," said the obliging tradesman;"I will take itaway,and bring it back to you tomorrow."
        "Very well;and I will settle your account then."
        The shoemaker bowed himself out with the left shoe.
        At eleven, punctual as a creditor, arrived the second predestined victim. The same scene was repeated; but this time itwas the right shoe that did not fit.
        "You will have to put it over the last again, my friend." "We'll soon set that right,sir." And this shoemaker, more knowing than the other, was about to take both shoesaway with him.
        "Leave the other,”said the Bari man."It's a fancy ofmine… if you take them both,some one may come in andfind that they fit him, and you will sell them to him, and Ishall have to wait another week."
        "But I assure you,sir ——"
        "No, no, my friend;I know how things go.I want thispair of shoes and no other,and I insist on keeping the one."
        The shoemaker bowed his head with a sigh, and wentaway to stretch the right shoe.
        An hour later the Bari man and his shoes were already onboard the Pireus steamer;and on the following day the twovictims met on his doorstep,each with a shoe in his hand,andlooked into each other's rapidly lengthening faces.

        當希臘人遇到希臘人

        生意人中有個說法:十二個猶太人才騙得了一個熱那亞人,但十二個熱那亞人也騙不了一個希臘人。我只聽說過一個人曾有那不怎么令人欽羨的出眾業(yè)績——即欺騙了希臘人,并且騙了不只一個,而是兩個希臘人。
        他是個巴利人。
        他正要回意大利,但卻沒靴子——或者更確切地說,他腳上的東西已不再是靴子了。他細細地點了錢,發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的 錢不夠買一雙新鞋,倒也心安理得了。于是他去了漢米斯街的一家鞋鋪。
        “我要一雙鞋,星期一早上必須交貨,鞋得十分合腳,要圓頭的,”如此等等。總之,他給了最詳盡的指示。
        “沒問題,先生。您一定能按時得到鞋子。星期一早上十點給您送貨到家。”
        巴利人留下地址就離開了。
        在風神街他又走進另一家鞋店,以同樣的條件訂購了另外一雙完全相同的鞋子。
        “你聽明白了嗎?”
        “分毫無誤。把地址給我吧,星期一早十點——”“十點鐘我不在家。十一點以后再送貨吧。”
        “十一點您一準能收到鞋。”
        到了星期一,十點鐘時第一個受騙者來了。那位先生試了鞋子。右腳非常合適,可左邊的鞋足背處實在太擠腳了,還得楦一楦。
        “好吧,”殷勤的手藝人說,“我把它拿回去修修,明兒再給您送來。”
        “那好,就明天再結(jié)帳。”
        鞋匠便拿著左鞋鞠躬告辭了。
        到了十一點,第二個預定的倒霉鬼也來了,像債主似的準時。于是那一幕又重演了一遍,只不過這一次不合適的是右邊的鞋。
        “朋友,你得返工重做做最后一道工序。”
        “我們立馬就能把它修好,先生。”這個鞋匠比先頭那個心眼多些,打算把兩只鞋一起帶走。
        “把另外那只留下,”巴利人說:“我有個怪念頭,覺得要是你全拿走了,也許有個人會看中它們,保不住你就賣給他了,結(jié)果我就得再等一個星期。”
        “我向您擔保,先生——”
        “不,不,我的朋友,我知道事情會怎樣演變。我只要這雙鞋,不要別的,所以我定要你留下此鞋。”
        鞋匠低下頭,嘆了口氣,便轉(zhuǎn)回店鋪去整修右鞋。
        一小時以后那巴利人和他的鞋子都上了“派利厄斯”號汽船。第二天兩個上了當?shù)男吃诎屠说拈T階前相遇,手里各拿著一只鞋子。他們迅速地相互掃了一眼,臉立刻拉長了。

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        本文標題:當希臘人遇到希臘人 - 英語笑話_英文笑話_英語幽默小故事
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