10個(gè)超逗的英語笑話
01
Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."
杰克騎車摔傷,得住院治療.一位年輕美貌的護(hù)士拿著表格讓填.仞杰克填好遞上表格"還有什么漏填的?"護(hù)士問. "有!"杰克想了想說,"我是個(gè)單身漢."
02
Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.
Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.
妻子:你看這張報(bào)紙,據(jù)統(tǒng)計(jì),死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.
丈夫:那有什么?據(jù)我調(diào)查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃飯的.
03
"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."
"Yours?Can you prove it?"
"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."
"請?jiān)?你占了我的位置."
"你的位置?你能征明這點(diǎn)嗎?"
"能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."
04
One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"
Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"
一天,夏娃問亞當(dāng):"你當(dāng)真愛我嗎?"
亞當(dāng)無可奈何地回答:"我還有的選擇嗎?"
05 Always Thirsty
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."
"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
"No, but I am always thirsty!"
總感到口渴
一個(gè)男人對他的朋友說：“我動(dòng)了一次手術(shù)，手術(shù)后醫(yī)生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體里了。”
“真是太糟糕了！”朋友說道：“你覺得疼嗎？”
“不疼，可是我總感到口渴。”
06 A Useful Way
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.
Father: What"s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.
一個(gè)有效的方法
爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝這么多水呀？
杰克：我剛才吃了個(gè)蘋果，爸爸。
爸爸：可是這跟喝水有什么關(guān)系呢？
杰克：我忘了洗蘋果呀。
07 A Present
Kate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.
凱特的禮物
凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什么生日禮物嗎？
媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什么呀？
凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。
媽媽：可是我已經(jīng)有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。
凱特：不，你沒有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。
08 The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive."
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
醫(yī)生懂得多
一個(gè)男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。他的妻子站在他的床前對醫(yī)生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。”
醫(yī)生說：“恐怕他已經(jīng)死了。”
聽到醫(yī)生的話，這個(gè)男人轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著頭說：“我沒死，我還活著。”
妻子說：“安靜，醫(yī)生比你懂得多。”
09 Waste or Save?
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?
浪費(fèi)還是節(jié)約
父親：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。難道你不知道你這是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間嗎？
杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我還給您節(jié)省了一頓飯呢，是不是？
10 Why Is He Howling
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.
Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!
他為什么喊
牙醫(yī)：請你不要再喊了！我還沒碰你的牙呢。
病人：我知道，可是你正踩著我的腳呀！
英語 笑話本文地址：http://www.autochemexpert.com/writing/humor/89071.html
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