男女有別
1. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
未來：女人直到找到丈夫前都在擔心未來；男人找到妻子后開始擔心未來。
2. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
名字：要是勞蕊，琳達，伊麗莎白和芭芭拉出去吃飯，她們互相稱呼勞蕊，琳達，伊麗莎白和芭芭拉 ；要是馬克，克瑞斯、埃瑞克和湯姆出去吃飯，他們會互相親密地稱作胖子、惡狼、癩頭和廢材。
3. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
在外面吃飯：埋單的時候，馬克，克瑞斯、埃瑞克和湯姆每人都甩出20塊錢，雖然其實一共只吃了32塊5。沒人有更小的票子了，也沒人愿意承認他們其實想要回該找的零錢。女人埋單時，每人掏出個計算器。
4. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
錢：用得著的東西，要是值1塊錢卻賣2塊，男人也會買；用不著的東西，要是值2塊錢卻只賣1塊，女人也會買。
5. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The averagenumber of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
浴室：男人浴室里五件寶：牙刷，刮胡膏，剃須刀，一塊肥皂，一塊毛巾。一般來說，女人浴室里平均有337樣東西，其中的大多數，男人不知道那是干啥用的。
6. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that…… is the beginning of a new argument.
爭論：任何爭論都是由女人來說最后一句話。男人在此之后說的任何話……都是新的爭吵的開端。
7. CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
貓：女人喜歡貓。男人說他們也喜歡，但當女人看不到時，男人踢貓。
8. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change! And she does.
婚姻：女人嫁給一個男人，希望他能改變，可他不；男人娶了一個女人，希望她永遠不變，可她變了。
9. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
穿戴整齊：為了買東西，澆花，倒垃圾，接電話，讀書，取信，女人都會穿戴整齊；男人穿戴整齊時，他是要去參加婚禮或者葬禮。
10. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
自然：男人起床后和上床前看起來都差不多；女人過一晚上容顏會變糟。
幽默 笑話本文地址：http://www.autochemexpert.com/writing/humor/41531.html
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