英漢雙語笑話17
What's your name?
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:"My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll get on well together"
Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name."Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,"He said,"and don't forget to call me 'sir'".
Each soldier told him his name,unitl he came to the last one.This man remained silent,and so Captain Stone shouted at him,"When I ask you a question,answer it!I'll ask you again:What's you name,soldier?"
The soldier was very unhappy,but at last he replied."My name is Stonebreaker,sir"he said nervously.
你叫什么名字？
有一位很嚴厲的軍官在對一群交由他訓練的新兵訓話。他以前從沒見過這群新兵，于是他開始自我介紹：“我的名字叫Stone(石頭)，事實上，我甚至比石頭更強硬。這就是我為什么要告訴你們我名字的原因。不要試圖對我玩什么花招，這樣我們就能很好相處了。”
接著他開始走到每個士兵前面問他們的名字。“說大聲點，讓每個人都能聽清楚。另外，不要忘記稱呼我為長官。”他說。
每個士兵都對他說了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前時，這個士兵保持著沉默。于是Stone隊長對他喊叫，“當我問你問題的時候，要回答！我再問一遍，你的名字，士兵？”
那個新兵很不高興，但最后他回答了。“我的名字是Stonebreaker(碎石機)，長官。”他緊張的說。
2.
The Same Duties
A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast."
Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."
相同的職責
一個退休的四星級將軍在曼哈頓的一個酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤務兵，勤務兵也退休在家。這位將軍花了一整個晚上的時間來說服他回來做他的貼身隨從。“你的職責與在軍隊時完全一樣，”將軍說，“這沒什么，你很快就會再次理解它的。”
第二天早晨八點鐘時，前勤務兵迅速地進到前將軍的臥室，拉開窗簾，輕輕地搖了搖將軍，然后大步走到床的另一側，在他雇主的妻子屁股上拍了一下，說道：“好了，甜心，你該回到村莊去了。”
3.
Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John's brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy's family name, so when he saw John's papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
大五個月
第二次世界大戰開始了，約翰想參軍，可他只有十六歲，當時規定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫給他進行體檢時，他說他已經十八歲了。
可約翰的哥哥剛入伍沒幾天，而且也是這個軍醫給他做的檢查。這位醫生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。
“你多大了？”軍醫問。
“十八，長官。”約翰說。
“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎？”
約翰臉紅了，說：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大五個月。”
本文地址：http://www.autochemexpert.com/writing/humor/20902.html
相關文章
-
趣味英語：看老外怎么寫中國高考作文
近日有英國媒體把今年高考語文作文題都翻譯成英文，并加以點評，稱作文題很有創意，能夠激發學生們的想象力。來看看這位老外同學寫的作文好了，和中...
2018-10-29 英語笑話 -
武林外傳搞笑語錄英漢對照
各回各家，各找各媽 go back home, and find your mom. 老虎不發威，你當我是hello kitty tiger doesn't get angry, you think it's h...
2018-10-29 英語笑話 -
小廝的小費原來是這樣得來的-英漢英漢雙語笑話
doctor swift and the boy斯威夫特博士與小廝a wealthy old lady who lived near dr. swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant. dr. swift took her presents but never gave the boy...
2018-10-30 英語笑話 -
英語小笑話 - Which Race Am I?
Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused. His mother was Jewish and his father was black. So Johnny says, "Mom, am I more Jewish or more black...
2019-03-21 英語笑話 -
第89期雙語笑話加練習題 你不要知道嗎（1）
I accompanied my eight-month-pregnant wife to her monthly checkup . We boarded the hospital's elevator to go to the appropriate floor. The only other passenger was a...
2018-11-28 英語笑話 -
英文笑話:Court Jester
Actual word for word quotes from the witness stand： Q： What is your date of birth？ A： July fifteenth. Q： What year？ A： Every year. Q： What gear were you in at the moment of the impact？ ...
2018-12-26 英語笑話 -
英語小笑話帶翻譯：我是來裝電話的（雙語）
a young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the...
2018-10-30 英語笑話 -
賴世雄讀英語笑話學英語之婚姻笑話(1)：免驚啦！(雙語)
Unit 1 No Worries 免驚啦！At the swimming pool one day, a child asked his mother, “Mommy, Mommy, can I swimming?” 在游泳池旁，一個小孩問他媽媽“，媽咪，媽咪，我可不可以下去游泳？”“Certainly not, darl...
2018-10-30 英語笑話 -
Maternal Instinct
As a new father， I quickly learned the true meaning of maternal instinct. Late one night， I was summoned to the hospital to attend to one of my patients. I quietly got up in the dark but tripped...
2018-12-28 英語笑話
