怎樣脫解尷尬，做一個(gè)健談的人（1/2）
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How to be a good conversationalist?
Are you a good conversationalist? What makes someone a good conversationalist? Being a good conversationalist is important in every context, be it in business, social, or dating.你是不是一名好的健談?wù)撸渴裁茨茏屇阕兊媒≌勀兀繜o論在何種情況下，作為一名好的健談?wù)叨际欠浅Ｖ匾模瑹o論是商業(yè)、還是社交或是約會(huì)。I don’t think there are any “tricks” or shady techniques you have to apply to be a great conversationalist. Below are ten timeless rules I apply to all my conversations:我認(rèn)為要想成為好的健談?wù)撸恍枰魏蔚摹罢袛?shù)”或不正當(dāng)?shù)氖址āＯ旅媸俏矣玫秸勗捴杏啦贿^時(shí)的10條原則：
1. Be genuinely interested in the person.對(duì)談話的人真正感興趣
Who is this person? What’s on his/her mind? What does he/she enjoy doing? What motivates him/her in life? These are the questions I have for every single person I meet. Since people form the core of my life purpose (to help others grow), my genuine interest in people, from who they are to what they do, comes naturally.這個(gè)人是誰？他/她在想什么？他/她喜歡做什么？什么激勵(lì)著他/她的生活？我每遇見一個(gè)人，我都會(huì)想這樣的問題。由于人們成為了我生活目標(biāo)的核心（幫助他人成長）， 我對(duì)他人的興趣，從他們是誰到他們做什么，就很自然地產(chǎn)生了。
Such genuine interest, not an artificial one, is essential to making a conversation fly. If you are not interested in the other person, then why speak to him/her to begin with? Move on to someone you really want to talk to. Life is too short to be spent doing things you don’t like.這樣的興趣是發(fā)自內(nèi)心的，而不是虛假的， 這是讓談話出彩的必要條件。如果你對(duì)他人不感興趣，為什么要和他/她說話呢？去和你真正想談話的人說話。生活苦短，不要把它浪費(fèi)在你不喜歡的事情上。
2. Focus on the positives.關(guān)注正能量
Rather than talk about past grievances, opt for a discussion of future goals. Rather than talk about the coffee that spilled on your table this morning, talk about that movie you are looking forward to watch later in the evening. It is okay to talk about “negative” topics once in a while, but only when you feel it is okay with the other party and when it has a specific purpose (e.g., to get to know the other person better or to bond with the person).與其談?wù)撨^去的悲傷，不如去討論未來的目標(biāo)。與其談?wù)摻裉煸绯繛⒃谀阕雷由系目Х龋蝗缯務(wù)撘幌峦砩夏阆肟吹碾娪啊Ｅ紶栒務(wù)撘幌隆柏?fù)面”話題也是可以的， 但最好是當(dāng)你覺得對(duì)方也能接受并且有特定目的時(shí)（比如，更好地了解對(duì)方或和對(duì)方建立聯(lián)系）。
3. Converse, not debate (or argue).交談而不是辯論（爭吵）
A conversation should be a platform where opinions are aired, not a battle ground to pit one’s stance against another. Be ready to chat, discuss, and trash out ideas, but do so amiably. There’s no need to have a conclusion or agreement point in every discussion; if a convergence has to be met with everything that is mooted, the conversation would be very draining. Allow for things to be left open-ended if a common point can’t be achieved.談話應(yīng)該是交流觀點(diǎn)的平臺(tái)，而不是一對(duì)一的硝煙戰(zhàn)場。在準(zhǔn)備交談、討論和清理想法時(shí)，態(tài)度要和藹。沒有必要每次討論都要下結(jié)論或達(dá)成一致。如果每次都談?dòng)袪幾h的內(nèi)容，那么談話會(huì)非常吃力。如果無法達(dá)到共識(shí)，可以讓事物處于開放狀態(tài)。
4. Respect.尊重
Don’t impose, criticize, or judge. Respect other people’s point of view. Respect other people’s space—don’t encroach on the person’s privacy unless a common bond has been established. Respect other people’s personal choices—don’t criticize or judge. Everyone has his/her right to be him/herself, just as you have the right to be yourself.不要強(qiáng)加、批評(píng)或評(píng)判。尊重他人的觀點(diǎn)，尊重他人的空間——不要侵犯他人的隱私除非建立了共同的聯(lián)系；尊重他人的個(gè)人選擇——不要批評(píng)或評(píng)判。每個(gè)人都有自己的權(quán)利成為他/她自己， 就像你有權(quán)利成為你自己一樣。
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