Room For The Future

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　　At the age of forty－five，my usually well－ordered life became fraught with changes.

　　After twenty－two years of working for a major financial institution，a downsizing initiative and a major bank merger resulted in the elimination1） of over one hundred jobs，mine being one of them.

　　My once secure future became a fallacy2）。However，I was one of the lucky ones.I was not a single parent，nor dependent solely on my income，but just like the other ex－bankers，I had become a disposable3） employee，and a statistician.

　　My mantra4） has always been，“change is good，change is progress，”but when it affected my livelihood，I had to revise it to，“accept change and make the most of it.”From the beginning，I chose to look at this occurrence not as a misfortune，but as a welcome opportunity.I refused to become depressed or bitter；instead，I eagerly anticipated doing something new and different.

　　Having a positive attitude made all the difference in the way I perceived the future.First，I decided to return to college and graduate，several decades later than I should have.Doing this at my age took more than a little courage.Not being a graduate had never held me back in my career with the bank，but now it was a personal goal I longed to achieve.With a little trepidation5） and a lot of determination，I registered for evening classes，and became an adult student.

　　Oral presentations were often required for one class.I remember thinking that if I had known this beforehand，I would have taken something else to achieve my required accreditation.By nature，I am a rather reticent6） individual，and speaking in front of people terrified me.As I stood in front of the other adults with whom I shared a common goal，my knees were visibly knocking，and my heartbeat almost audible.Somehow，I found my voice and squeaked out my presentation.The next time it was easier，and soon，I was starting to enjoy it a little.Later in the year，I even voluntarily interviewed a local reporter for an English assignment，much to the amazement of my teacher.My confidence level soared.Suddenly I felt like I could accomplish anything.

　　During this time，I realized that no matter what life throws our way，personal growth never stops.It comes from within，and needs only to be challenged in order to surface.It is entirely possible to step out of one's comfort zone to learn something new. My experience of going back to school ended up being far more valuable than just acquiring a diploma.

　　The second thing I did to improve my inner self was to reevaluate7） my life.It used to be filled with endless，and sometimes meaningless，events.Now，instead of working towards materialistic things and personal glorification，my heart and life are firmly entwined around people I care for.

　　Yes，having a fulfilling career is important，but it is no longer my reason for being.When I rejoin the “rat race8）”，it will be on my terms，as nurturing my soul is my first priority.Having simplified my life，I am enjoying living now，instead of just existing to make a living.

　　Is there life after banking？You bet there is.

　　The loss of my job was responsible for some positive changes in my life.Revisiting the past made room for the future.As I contemplate the meaning of my mantra，“change is good，change is progress”，I realize that I have accepted the change，and am making the most of it.

　　And，I have only just begun.The best is yet to come.

　　在45歲時(shí)，我一向有條不紊的生活風(fēng)云驟起，充滿變數(shù)。

　　供職于一家重要的金融機(jī)構(gòu)22年后，我突然失去了工作。原因是一次裁員和一次重大的銀行并購導(dǎo)致100多名員工被裁，其中便有我。

　　一夜之間，我對未來曾抱有的安全感被證明是毫無根據(jù)的。然而，我還是幸運(yùn)的。我不是單親，工薪也不是我的惟一收入來源，但是正像其他前銀行職員一樣，我成了一名可有可無的雇員，一名統(tǒng)計(jì)人員。

　　我的禱文一向是，“變是好事，變是進(jìn)步”，但當(dāng)它真的影響到我的生活時(shí)，我不得不將之改為“接受變并善加利用”。我一開始就愿把這一生活變化視為一個(gè)很好的機(jī)會，而不是一種不幸。我拒絕抑郁、憤懣，而是熱切地期望嘗試新的、不同以往的事情。

　　這種積極的態(tài)度使我對未來的看法完全變了。首先，我決定重返大學(xué)，拿下畢業(yè)文憑，雖然已晚了幾十年。這般年齡采取如此行動是需要拿出些勇氣的。沒有大學(xué)文憑并沒有影響我在銀行的職業(yè)生涯，但獲得學(xué)位確是我的平生夙愿。我有些忐忑不安，但決心很大，我在夜校班報(bào)了名，成為一名成人學(xué)生。有一門課程常常要求學(xué)生進(jìn)行口頭陳述。記得我曾想過，如果我事先知道這一要求，我會選擇別的課程來掙夠?qū)W分。我天性少言寡語，在眾人面前說話令我十分畏懼。當(dāng)我站在其他和我有著共同目標(biāo)的成人面前時(shí)，我的雙膝直打顫，心都快跳到嗓子眼兒了。但我終于開了口，勉勉強(qiáng)強(qiáng)把陳述做了下來。第二次就容易多了。不久，我開始有點(diǎn)喜歡上這種課堂活動了。那年，我竟主動為一項(xiàng)英語作業(yè)采訪了一位當(dāng)?shù)赜浾撸屛业睦蠋燇@嘆不已。我的自信大增。忽然我感覺沒有我做不成的事情。

　　在這期間，我意識到，不管我們在人生的旅途中有何種遭遇，個(gè)人的成長是永無止境的，它是內(nèi)在的需要，只有迎接挑戰(zhàn)，才能超越自我。跳出自己的“舒適圈”去學(xué)些新的東西是完全可能的。重返學(xué)校，我收獲良多，遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)超過一張學(xué)位證書。

　　我完善自我的第二件事是重新審視我的生活道路。我過去的生活盡是些沒完沒了的事情，有時(shí)毫無意義，總之是逃不脫名利二字。現(xiàn)在，我的身心與我所關(guān)心的人緊緊地連在一起。

　　是的，事業(yè)有成是重要的，但它已不再是我生活的目標(biāo)。如果我重返“激烈的競爭”，那必須是按照我的條件，因?yàn)槲野炎甜B(yǎng)靈魂視為第一重要。簡化了生活之后，我是真正在享受生活，而不是為生計(jì)而生存。

　　銀行生涯之后還有生活嗎？當(dāng)然有。

　　丟了工作促成了我生活中一些積極的改變。重訪過去為未來打開了空間。當(dāng)我細(xì)細(xì)琢磨我的禱文“變是好事，變是進(jìn)步”時(shí)，我意識到我已接受了變，并在充分利用它。

　　新生活剛剛開始。精彩的還在后頭。

　　1. elimination n. 去掉，消除

　　2. fallacy n. 謬誤，謬論

　　3. disposable adj. 可任意使用的

　　4. mantra 頌歌，禱文（尤指四吠陀經(jīng)典內(nèi)作為咒文或禱告唱念的）

　　5. trepidation n. 顫抖

　　6. reticent adj. 沉默寡言的

　　7. reevaluate v. 再評估，再評價(jià)