BEC名師點評作文（11）
BEC商務英語考試在現在的考試形式占有重要的地位，當今社會不論是學生還是職場人都在努力的奮斗這提升自己的能力和晉升的空間，那么我們該怎么樣復習好BEC英語呢!
我覺得用中文寫一篇高質量的圖表說明文很不簡單，何況用英文，必須對圖表的總體特征、主要對象走勢、最大值、最小值、轉折點等關鍵點做出簡明扼要的陳述。好在說明文相對比較機械，還是有規律可循。我對課堂資料進行了一番整理，總結出一些常用句型和詞匯，背誦了幾篇范文，很快就上手了。下面是一些老師的點評，希望對大家有所幫助。
作文題目
You need to inform your marketing team abouta radio advertising campaign for one of yourcompany's new products.
Write an email to your team:
* reminding tehm which new product it is
* explaining why you've chosen to advertise onradio
* saying what you expect the advertisingcampaign to achieve.
Write 40-50 words.
Sample:
It is believed that everyone knows about our new product - TE 128, which will be launch edrecently. We will use radio advertising owing to our budget . I hope that the campaign willcover most of the cusomters we are having now and bring new ones.
網友作文一：
Dear All,
Our new product advertising campain[1] for A02 auto-navigating instrument[2] is comingsoon. As you know, radio is the most available for drivers. I believe we will make a gorgeousadvertisement suitable for them.
_________________________________________
[1]這個名詞結構太長了，另外主體不清楚啊。看清楚題目要求，先remind 大家一下，可以用很多表示提醒的結構。
[2]英文中的"設備"有很多個詞，這個詞適合樂器，應該搭配musical instrument, 這個地方比較合適用facility 或者 equipment
網友作文二：
To: marketing team
Fr: coco218
Date: Dec. 15th,2008
Subject:a radio advertising campaign for new products
Dear teammate,
A new mobile phone[1] will be the next NEW ARRIVAL.And it will be advertised on radiobecause of our short of money[2] .I hope our marketing team could make out an attactiveadvertisement and the sale would hit 20% of the market share[3].
Thanks.
Regards.
_________________________________________
[1]這不對吧，你們公司原來不是做mobile phone 的?改為 new product 比較合適。
[2]Shortage of money
[3]畫蛇添足，sale 就是可以沖擊新高的，這和market share 有什么關系。
網友作文三：
To:All stuff
From:Manager
Date:Dec.16th 2008
Subject:a radio advertisement of our new products
I want to inform you our radio campaign for the new medicine.I think[1] many elders oftenlisten to the radio and they are the are[2] in most need of our products,also advertising onradio is much cheaper than on TV,we can have more profits[3] or bring down the price[4].
Thank you.
_________________________________________
[1]去掉這種主觀的表達。直接用后面的主語開頭。
[2]改為the ones
[3]Maximize the margins.
[4]去掉
網友作文四：
To: Marketing team
From: Alvin
Subject: radio advertising campaign for inverter transformer
Dear All,
The inverter transformer[1], as a new product of our company, need an advertisment now.Taking the aim customers'[2] habit into consideration, we decide to advertise on radio. Weexpect to make people accept our new product and get sale amount of 5 million USD within thefirst two months.
Thanks!
Best Regards!
_________________________________________
[1]既然是個產品，首字母應該大寫
[2]這個叫target customer
網友作文五：
To: all salesmen
From: Joe Lee, Marketing Manager
Subject: launching an ad on radio
I would like to inform all of you that I decide[1] to launch the advertisement of our newproduct of earphone on radio in that students are one of the major audience of radio and theyare also our main consumers.[2]
_________________________________________
[1]改為：it is decided that.....
[2]整個句子太長了
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