英語幽默精讀【85】Post Haste
My husband asked me to go to the post office to mail his resume in anticipation of a job interview. He instructed me to send it the fastest way possible.
Struck by the urgency in his voice, I grabbed a handful of change and dashed out the door. Arriving at the post office, I rushed to the counter and breathlessly explained to the clerk that my envelope had to be delivered immediately . He casually weighed the envelope and said it would cost $ 10.03.I fumbled through my pockets and tallied up my coins. "But I don't have $ 10. 03, " I said. He punched some more buttons and said, "Okay, that will be $ 7. 40, ma am.
Once more I said in dismay, "Sorry, I don't have $ 7.40.
"Well," he sighed, "exactly how much do you have?"
I meekly answered, "I have exactly $ 2. 15, sir."
With that, he yelled over his shoulder to a coworker, "Hey, Charlie, get the pigeon ready.
※ Notes
（1） resume n. 履歷
（2） anticipation n.期望
（3） dash v.急奔；猛沖
（4） breathlessly adv.上氣不接下氣地
（5） casually adv.漫不經心地
（6） fumble v.摸索
（7） tally up算上
（8） punch v.敲；擊
（9） dismay n.困惑；茫然
（10） meekly adv.謙和地
※ Exercises
根據短文選擇正確答案：
① What did the husband asked the wife to do?
A. to get up early
B. to get out of the door
C. to post his resume
D. to go to his office
② From the passage we can see
A. the husband was applying for a job
B. the husband was bad tempered
C. the husband was always rude to his wife
D. the husband was anticipating a new clerk
③ How was the wife when she got to the post office?
A. She was pale.
B. She was breathless.
C. She was angry.
D. She was worried.
④ How much money did the wife have in total?
A. $ 10.03
B. $ 7.40
C. $ 2.15
D. $ 9.55
⑤ What does the last sentence in the passage imply?
A. The woman would get the letter posted in the fastest way
B. The woman probably wouldn't get the letter posted fast.
C. A pigeon would be used to post her letter fast.
D. The clerk refused to post the letter for her.
※ 譯文
郵政快遞
我丈夫讓我到郵局寄他的履歷，期望能得到工作面試的機會。他告訴我要用盡可能快的方式把它寄出去。
我感到他語氣緊急，就抓了一把零錢，沖出了家門。到了郵局，我沖到柜臺，上氣不接下氣地向職員解釋說我的信必須馬上寄出。他漫不經心地稱了一下信的重量，說郵費是十元零三分。我翻遍了我的口袋，把所有的硬幣都算上。“可是我沒有十元零三分，”我說。他又敲了幾個鍵，然后說：“那好吧，七元四角，夫人。”
我又一次茫然地說：“對不起，我沒有七塊四。”
“那，”他嘆了口氣，“確切地說你有多少？”
我很謙和地回答道：“我有整整兩塊一角五分，先生。”
聽了這話，他轉過頭向身后的同事喊道：“嗨，查理，準備好鴿子。”
※ 練習參考答案
①C②A③B④C⑤B
幽默 英語本文地址：http://www.autochemexpert.com/writing/humor/89354.html
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