英語笑話笑死人不償命11:古老的中國智慧 (雙語)
Once upon a time, in ancient China, the emperor was seriously ill. None of his esteemed physicians could find a cure, until an ancient sage revealed that only the blood of a living Foo bird could restore the imperial health.
很久很久以前在古老的中國，皇帝病得很重，所有德高望重的御醫都沒辦法醫治，直到后來才有一位智者透露，只有活福鳥的血才能恢復皇帝的健康。
Now the Foo bird was extremely rare, almost legendary,and the greatest hunters in the land were assigned the task of capturing a specimen-but before they left on their quest, the ancient sage warned them that if one of them were fortunate enough to catch the bird, he should on no account clean or change his clothing till he had presented his prize to the emperor.
問題是福鳥本來就很少見，幾乎只是傳說而已，于是全國各地最好的獵人都被指派進行捕捉福鳥的工作。但在他們出發之前，那名智者警告他們，要是有人有幸捉到一只福鳥的話，無論如何在送到皇帝手中之前，絕不可以清潔或換掉身上的衣服。
The hunters scoured the empire, and after several months, the greatest of them spotted a magnificent Foo perched high in a tree. Using all his skill, the huntsman snuck up on the bird and managed to seize it by the claws, but soon the startled creature left a huge odious blob of excrement on the hunter's shoulder.
獵人們搜遍了整個帝國，幾個月后，其中一名本領最好的獵人不經意看見了一只福鳥棲息在一棵樹上。他用盡所有技巧偷偷接近那只福鳥并抓住了它的腳爪，但那只受到驚卟的福鳥馬上在他的肩膀上拉了一大團臭氣熏人的鳥糞。
Though the stench was almost unbearable, the woodsman remembered the sage's injunction and carried his double burden all the way back to court. By that time, the odor had only become worse, and the hunter was deeply embarrassed.Finally, he felt that he could not enter the emperor's presence in such a state, and wiped the offending substance from his shoulder.
雖然臭味難當，但獵人仍記得智者的訓示，便連同身上的鳥糞護送福鳥回宮。那時鳥糞的味道更難聞了，獵人也覺得非常尷尬。最后他覺得不能那個樣子去見皇帝，于是他把肩膀上令人作嘔的東西擦拭掉了。
Instantly, the Foo bird fell over dead, the emperor took a turn for the worse, and the hunter was clapped in irons.And the moral of the story is: If the Foo shits,wear it!
就在那一刻福鳥便倒地身亡，皇帝的病情也更加惡化，而那名獵人則立刻被關進牢中。這個故事的寓意就是：“福鳥在你身上拉尿，你就扛著。”
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