英漢雙語笑話16

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1.

How Much Is It?

It was winter, and Mrs. Hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was Saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to pay for everything and to carry her parcels. They went to a lot of shops, and Mrs. Hermann bought a lot of things. She often stopped and said, "Look, Joe! Isn't that beautiful!"

He then answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?" and took his money out to pay for it.

It was dark when they came out of the last shop, and Mr. Hermann was tired and thinking about other things, like a nice drink by the side of a warm fire at home. Suddenly his wife looked up at the sky and said, "Look at that beautiful moon, Joe!"

Without stopping, Mr. Hermann answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?"

多少錢？

嚴(yán)冬來臨，荷曼太太想采購(gòu)一大批東西，所以她就一直等到周六丈夫有空的時(shí)候，她拖著他去商店付錢連帶拎包裹。他們?nèi)チ嗽S多商店，荷曼太太買了一大堆東西。她經(jīng)常停下腳步說道：“看，喬伊!那個(gè)多漂亮!”

他總是回答：“好吧!親愛的，多少錢？”然后掏錢去付款。

他們從最后一家商店出來的時(shí)候夜幕已經(jīng)降臨，荷曼先生已精疲力盡了。他心里想著其它事情，比如在家里暖暖的火爐邊呷口美酒。突然他太太仰望天空，說道：“看那月亮多美，喬伊!”

荷曼先生不加思索答道：“好吧，親愛的，多少錢？”

2.

Three Whistles

I promised my girlfriend a gold necklace for her birthday, but when the jeweler quoted a price for one we liked, I let out a long, low whistle. "And how much are they then?" I asked, pointing to another tray.

"You, sir," replied the jeweler, "about three whistles."

三聲口哨

我答應(yīng)過我的女朋友過生日進(jìn)送她一條金項(xiàng)鏈。可是當(dāng)珠寶商報(bào)出我們看中的那條項(xiàng)鏈的價(jià)格時(shí)，我低低地打了個(gè)長(zhǎng)口哨。“那這條項(xiàng)鏈多少錢呢？”我指著另一個(gè)盤子里的項(xiàng)鏈問。

“先生，對(duì)你來說，”珠寶商答道，“大約值三聲口哨。”

3.

Early Shopper

It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

采購(gòu)過早

那天是圣誕節(jié)，法官在審訊犯人時(shí)也有點(diǎn)惻隱之心。“你為什么而被起訴？”他問。

“采購(gòu)圣誕節(jié)物品過早。”被告答。

“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購(gòu)物多早？”

在商店開門之前，“犯人應(yīng)道。

4.

Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

中間戰(zhàn)術(shù)

三個(gè)互相爭(zhēng)生意的商店老板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。

右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價(jià)!”“特便宜!”

左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價(jià)!”“大折扣!”

中間的商人隨后準(zhǔn)備了一個(gè)大招牌，上面只簡(jiǎn)單地寫著：“入口處”。

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