美文好心情：論家庭（培根）

THE joys of parents are secret; and so are their griefs and fears. They cannot utter the one; nor they will not utter the other. Children sweeten labors; but they make misfortunes more bitter. They increase the cares of life; but they mitigate the remembrance of death. The perpetuity by generation is common to beasts; but memory, merit, and noble works, are proper to men. And surely a man shall see the noblest works and foundations have proceeded from childless men; which have sought to express the images of their minds, where those of their bodies have failed. So the care of posterity is most in them, that have no posterity. They that are the first raisers of their houses, are most indulgent towards their children; beholding them as the continuance, not only of their kind, but of their work; and so both children and creatures.

The difference in affection, of parents towards their several children, is many times unequal; and sometimes unworthy; especially in the mothers; as Solomon saith, A wise son rejoiceth the father, but an ungracious son shames the mother. A man shall see, where there is a house full of children, one or two of the eldest respected, and the youngest made wantons; but in the midst, some that are as it were forgotten, who many times, nevertheless, prove the best. The illiberality of parents, in allowance towards their children, is an harmful error; makes them base; acquaints them with shifts; makes them sort with mean company; and makes them surfeit more when they come to plenty. And therefore the proof is best, when men keep their authority towards the children, but not heir purse. Men have a foolish manner (both parents and schoolmasters and servants) in creating and breeding an emulation between brothers, during childhood, which many times sorteth to discord when they are men, and disturbeth families.

The Italians make little difference between children, and nephews or near kinsfolks; but so they be of the lump, they care not though they pass not through their own body. And, to say truth, in nature it is much a like matter; insomuch that we see a nephew sometimes resembleth an uncle, or a kinsman, more than his own parent; as the blood happens. Let parents choose betimes, the vocations and courses they mean their children should take; for then they are most flexible; and let them not too much apply themselves to the disposition of their children, as thinking they will take best to that, which they have most mind to. It is true, that if the affection or aptness of the children be extraordinary, then it is good not to cross it; but generally the precept is good, optimum elige, suave et facile illud faciet consuetudo. Younger brothers are commonly fortunate, but seldom or never where the elder are disinherite

在子女面前，父母要善于隱藏他們的一切快樂、煩惱與恐懼。他們的快樂無須說，而他們的煩惱與恐懼則不能說。子女使他們的勞苦變甜，但也使他們的不幸更苦。子女增加了他們的負(fù)擔(dān)，但卻減輕了他們對死的恐懼。

一切生物都能通過生殖留下后代，但只有人類能通過后代下美名、事業(yè)和德行。然而，為什么有的沒有留下后代者卻留下了 流芳百世的功業(yè)？因?yàn)樗麄冸m然未能復(fù)制一種肉體，卻全力以赴地復(fù)制了一種精神。因此這種無后繼的人其實(shí)倒是最關(guān)心后事的人。創(chuàng)業(yè)者對子女期望最大，因?yàn)樽优凰麄兛醋鞑坏亲孱惖睦^承者，又是所創(chuàng)事業(yè)的一部分。

作為父母，特別是母親，對子女常常會有不合理的偏愛。所羅 門曾告誡人們：“智慧之子使父親快樂，愚昧之子使母親蒙羞。”在家庭中，最大或最小的孩子都可能得到優(yōu)遇。唯有居中的子女容易受到忘卻，但他們卻往往是最有出息的。

在子女小時(shí)不應(yīng)對他們過于苛吝。否則會使他們變得卑賤，甚至投機(jī)取巧，以至墮入下流，即使后來有了財(cái)富時(shí)也不會正當(dāng)利用。聰明的父母對子女在管理上是嚴(yán)格的，而在用錢上不妨略寬松，這常常是有好效果的。

作為成年人，絕不應(yīng)在一家的兄弟之間挑動競爭，以至積隙成仇，使兄弟間直到成年，依然不和。意大利風(fēng)俗對子女和侄 一視同仁，親密無間。這是很可取的。因?yàn)檫@種風(fēng)俗很合于自然的血統(tǒng)關(guān)系。許多侄子不是更像他的一位叔、伯，而不象父親嗎？

在子女還小時(shí)，父母就應(yīng)當(dāng)考慮他們將來的職業(yè)方向并加以培養(yǎng)，因?yàn)檫@時(shí)他們最易塑造。但在這一點(diǎn)上要注意，并不是孩子小時(shí)候所喜歡的，也就是他們終生所愿從事的。如果孩子確有某種超群的天才，那當(dāng)然應(yīng)該扶植發(fā)展。但就一般情況說，下面這句格言是很有用的：“長期的訓(xùn)練會通過適應(yīng)化難為易。”還應(yīng)當(dāng)注意，子女中那種得不到遺產(chǎn)繼承權(quán)的幼子，常常會通過自身的奮斗獲得好的發(fā)展。而坐享其成者，卻很少能成大業(yè).

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