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        Of Marriage and Single Life

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            Of Marriage and Single Life (論結婚和獨身)

            HE THAT hath wife and children hath given

            hostages to fortune; for they are impedi-

            ments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mis-

            chief. Certainly the best works, and of greatest

            merit for the public, have proceeded from the un-

            married or childless men; which both in affection

            and means, have married and endowed the public.

            Yet it were great reason that those that have chil-

            dren, should have greatest care of future times;

            unto which they know they must transmit their

            dearest pledges. Some there are, who though they

            lead a single life, yet their thoughts do end with

            themselves, and account future times imperti-

            nences. Nay, there are some other, that account

            wife and children, but as bills of charges. Nay

            more, there are some foolish rich covetous men,

            that take a pride, in having no children, because

            they may be thought so much the richer. For per-

            haps they have heard some talk, Such an one is a

            great rich man, and another except to it, Yea, but

            he hath a great charge of children; as if it were an

            abatement to his riches. But the most ordinary

            cause of a single life, is liberty, especially in certain

            self-pleasing and humorous minds, which are so

            sensible of every restraint, as they will go near to

            think their girdles and garters, to be bonds and

            shackles. Unmarried men are best friends, best

            masters, best servants; but not always best sub-

            jects; for they are light to run away; and almost

            all fugitives, are of that condition. A single life

            doth well with churchmen; for charity will hardly

            water the ground, where it must first fill a pool. It

            is indifferent for judges and magistrates; for if

            they be facile and corrupt, you shall have a ser-

            vant, five times worse than a wife. For soldiers, I

            find the generals commonly in their hortatives,

            put men in mind of their wives and children; and

            I think the despising of marriage amongst the

            Turks, maketh the vulgar soldier more base. Cer-

            tainly wife and children are a kind of discipline

            of humanity; and single men, though they may

            be many times more charitable, because their

            means are less exhaust, yet, on the other side, they

            are more cruel and hardhearted (good to make

            severe inquisitors), because their tenderness is not

            so oft called upon. Grave natures, led by custom,

            and therefore constant, are commonly loving hus-

            bands, as was said of Ulysses, vetulam suam praetu-

            lit immortalitati. Chaste women are often proud

            and froward, as presuming upon the merit of their

            chastity. It is one of the best bonds, both of chastity

            and obedience, in the wife, if she think her hus-

            band wise; which she will never do, if she find him

            jealous. Wives are young men's mistresses; com-

            panions for middle age; and old men's nurses. So

            as a man may have a quarrel to marry, when he

            will. But yet he was reputed one of the wise men,

            that made answer to the question, when a man

            should marry, - A young man not yet, an elder

            man not at all. It is often seen that bad husbands,

            have very good wives; whether it be, that it raiseth

            the price of their husband's kindness, when it

            comes; or that the wives take a pride in their

            patience. But this never fails, if the bad husbands

            were of their own choosing, against their friends'

            consent; for then they will be sure to make good

            their own folly.

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