名人家書：阿黛爾迪萊烏致 姐姐（1） 中英雙語

　　my dearest，

　　you've gone.and i can never get you backagain——except by talking to you.it's childish，iknow.but perhaps it will give me some relief fromthe pent-up sorrow that makes me feel as if myheart will burst.

　　how often we gently scorned the people whoused euphemisms for death！“she has left us.”“hehas passed over.”where was their strength，wewondered，that they could not acknowledge deathfor what it was，and speak of it as death？i understand them a little better now.but at least iwill demand of myself the will to call death by itsown name.

　　i know what they were trying to do.theywere attempting to conceal the ultimate finality……at least until they could bear it.nature bestows anumbness on us at first，giving us time to adjust tothe brutal truth.but the numbness does not lastlong enough，and the truth breaks through the veiland stabs us again and again.

　　friends have been marvelous.they have surrounded me with affection and concern；theytalk or fall silent as they perceive my mood；theybring gifts of flowers or themselves；they plan littleoutings and include me in their gatherings.theywrite letters that make the tears stream down myface，because they appreciated you so……they tellme，in warm words，how sweet you were，how brilliant，how witty，how talented，and how blessedthey were to know you.it is a comfort to read oftheir appreciation，to realize that they were awareof all your wonderful qualities.but my loss，as i goover their words，grows greater and greater.i amutterly bereft.i have been abandoned；i feel as if apart of me has been amputated.for we were soclose，we knew each other so well，we were soattuned to each other's moods——different thoughwe were in a dozen respects.

　　there was one letter that helped me more thanmost.it came from an editor whom you never met.she told me something which has been a kind ofbulwark，for she said，“no one truly dies who isremembered with love.”

　　and i know this is true.i remember you withlove.i remember everything about you，with undying love.when i think i cannot stand theloneliness any more，something will come to mind，something that i loved in you and it gives me thecourage，if only momentarily，to go on.

　　so that is what i will do，as i write to you.iwill think of the things that made our life togetherthe charmed experience it was.i will remember youwith love.

　　我的唯一：

　　我幾乎不敢相信你已經離開我整整一年了。從一方面說，這是我生命中最漫長的一年，最可怕的一年，也是最黑暗的一年。但從另一方面說，似乎我們那次最后的相見就發生在昨天，你臉上帶著淡淡的、美麗的微笑，因為你終于找到了安寧。我站在病床前，注視著你，似乎永遠也看不夠……當我意識到我已失去了你的時候，由于悲傷我變得麻木了。

　　你在病痛中生活了那么久。你為此而寫的那首詩讓我心如刀絞，因為這來自于你的內心。你時常告訴我，你不懼怕死亡，當死亡來臨時你會愉快地迎接它。但你也曾許諾盡可能長久地與我待在一起，你的確如此做了，盡管你希望自己離去。現在死亡像朋友一樣到來了，你得到自由了。

　　而我如今卻被束縛住了。我被束縛在生活中、束縛在悲痛中，失去了你，我被迫獨自繼續生活下去。

　　我曾經努力地挽留你；我曾經回避那不可回避的事實，似乎只要我忽視它就可以戰勝它。當我站在你的身旁，我才最終知道我面對的是什么，這幾乎使我無法承受。

　　正是從那時起，我開始給你寫信，那些信使我明白我欠了你那么多，我從你那里得到了那么多。那些信拯救了我，也許現在我已能足夠堅強地生活下去——不是如我過去所認為的那樣失去了你，而是與你同在。如同那語言清晰完美的編輯所說的那樣，被人們滿懷愛戴之情回憶的人是不會真正死去的，而我正是滿懷愛戴之情回憶你，用我心里的全部的愛。