專八作文之范文賞析--如何提高學(xué)生心理健康
題目：How to Improve Students Mental Health
寫作要求
Nowadays some college students suffer from mental diseases and even commit suicide. How to improve students’ mental health has now become a hot topic. What’s your suggestion?
Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:
How to Improve Students’ Mental Health
You are to write in three parts.
In the rst part, state speci cally what your idea is.
In the second part, provide reasons to support your opinion OR describe your idea.
In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.
Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriateness. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.
審題思路
本題是一道典型的問題解決/建議型的題目，從題目到寫作要求都明確說明文章要圍繞如何提高學(xué)生的精神健康來寫，通常可以從 以下幾方面著手：
1. 從社會(huì)層面來看，教育體制上應(yīng)該給學(xué)生更為寬松的環(huán)境，使學(xué)生能全面發(fā)展；
2. 從學(xué)校層面來看，學(xué)校應(yīng)關(guān)注學(xué)生的身心健康，設(shè)立心理工作室等，進(jìn)行心理問題的預(yù)防和輔導(dǎo)；
3. 從家長層面來看，家長應(yīng)時(shí)常關(guān)心孩子的心理想法，而不是只注重學(xué)習(xí)成績；
4. 從學(xué)生層面來看，學(xué)生自己應(yīng)該適當(dāng)了解一些心理常識(shí)，開發(fā)多種興趣，能自我紓解負(fù)面情緒 。
以上這些方面并不意味著在一篇文章中都要涉及 ，只要從其中一兩個(gè)方面提出建議并詳細(xì)陳述理由即可。
范文賞析
How to Improve Students’ Mental Health
Students’ mental health, an issue neglected for long, has now gained increasing public concern . As to how to improve it, heated discussions are right on their way. As far as I’m concerned, the university should set up a mental health workshop to improve students’ psychological health. It’s necessary for the following reasons.
引言部分：作者先復(fù)述題干中的背景，然后直抒胸臆：大學(xué)應(yīng)成立心理工作室， 并以for the following reasons引出下文。
For one thing, many problems of mental disorder may be nipped in the bud . Many students may find it hard to deal with pressure from study and personal relationships, and therefore pains, puzzles and frustration may arise . he workshop will be a place for the young people to release their pressure by talking it away8 with teachers there. In the meantime , teachers may have a chance to detect signs of psychological problems in advance and take precautious measures accordingly. For another, students may know some ways to improve their mental health. If the experts of the workshop can give lectures on regular basis, those students suffering from mental disturbances will know what to do and face their problems bravely.
主體部分 ：作者以for one thing和for another 引出兩個(gè)原因，而且用短句點(diǎn)題 ，用長句解釋，長短結(jié)合，非常恰當(dāng)。另外近義詞的使用也給文章增加了變化性 ， 如mental ，illness ，disease，disturbance 等 。如果有三個(gè)或以上的原因，可以參考使用以下幾組詞 ：To begin with，then，furthermore finally；To start with，next，in addition，finally；First and foremost，besides，last but not least；Most important of all，moreover finally。
From the factors mentioned above, we may safely draw the conclusion that a mental health workshop can play a vital role in students’ daily life and help to protect them from mental illness.
總結(jié)部分：作者用 from the factors mentioned above自然結(jié)尾，并再次重申自己的觀點(diǎn)，與開頭部分呼應(yīng)。
亮點(diǎn)回放
1. neglect: “忽視”；近義詞有ignore（有意忽視 ）和overlook ，此處an issue neglected for long用作插入語，起同位語的作用 。
2. public concern : “公眾的關(guān)注” ；在表示 “引起普遍關(guān)注/重視”時(shí) ，常用arouse/gain public/ popular concern這一詞組 。
3. on their way: “在路上”；此處表示“激烈的討論正在展開”的意思 。
4. disorder: “混亂，失調(diào)，不適，疾病”；此處與下文的disturbance，problem為近義詞 。
5. be nipped in the bud:“被……消滅于萌芽狀態(tài)”。
6. puzzle:“困惑，難題”；近義詞有confusion ，bewilderment，worry等 。
7. arise: “出現(xiàn)，產(chǎn)生”；常用于指抽象事物的產(chǎn)生，常用搭配為arise from 。
8. talk it away:通常talk away作不及物動(dòng)詞用 ，表示“不停地講”，這里是指“通過談話將壓力消除”。
9. in the meantime: “與此 同時(shí)” ；近義詞有at the same time ，in the meanwhile等 。
10. detect: “發(fā)覺，察覺”；比簡單使用find要 出彩 。
11. accordingly: “相應(yīng)地” ；也可以使用correspondingly來替換 。
12. on regular basis: “常規(guī)地 ，經(jīng)常地” ；比簡單使用often/usually好 。
13. disturbance: “擾亂，騷動(dòng)” ；此處指精神上的困惑，與上文的disorder為近義詞 。
14. safely : “安全地” ；此處表示 “毫無 問題地” ，we can safely draw the conclusion that...是常用的結(jié)尾句式 。
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