英語四級寫作技巧：and和松散句
"and"和松散句
松散句在文章中隨處可見，難以消亡。松散句在語法上并沒錯誤，它只是太長，且干擾讀者對文章的理解，不幸的是，犯有此類毛病的作者往往屢見不鮮。對此可遵循一條好的原則：如果發現一個句子長及兩到三行，則仔細考慮兩遍，它很可能要徹底改動。
Rambling: The plane was ready to take off; having never traveled by plane before he suddenly felt nervous as the sky ominously turned from gray to black, and threatening bolts of lightning shot across the sky, and thunder echoed in the distance.
Better: The plane was ready to take off. He had never traveled by plane and suddenly felt nervous as the sky turned ominously from gray to black. Threatening bolts of lightening shot across the sky, and thunder echoed in the distance.
Rambling: We regret to inform you that inclement weather conditions in our area have caused us to reschedule all deliveries for the month of February so that we must also reschedule shipment of your order to February 16.
Better: I’m sorry to let you know that a winter storm will delay shipment of your order until February 16.
松散句經常有很多"and"。在口語中，尚可多用幾個"and" 但若過多地出現在書面英語中，則令人難以接受。取代"and"的方法是改用逗號或從屬結構，或者干脆省略。
Plain: The Governor of Hong Kong descended the long and winding staircase.
Interesting: The Governor of Hong Kong descended the long, winding staircase.
Plain: My grandparents spent long summer hours under the old, tall and shady tree in the courtyard.
Interesting: My grandparents spent long summer hours under the old, tall, shady tree in the courtyard.
Plain: By attending this workshop, you will learn just which cosmetic essentials you need and which formulas are just your style.
Interesting: By attending this workshop, you will learn just which cosmetic essentials you need, which formulas are just your style.
Plain: To a man harassed by a nagging wife and undisciplined children, work away from home can be a great blessing, and a welcome escape.
Interesting: To a man harassed by a nagging wife and undisciplined children, work away from home can be a great blessing, a welcome escape.
Ineffective: The Yangtze River is one of the longest rivers in the world, and in the springtime it occasionally overflows its banks, and many people are endangered.
Improved: The Yangtze River, one of the longest rivers in the world, occasionally endangers many people during the springtime by overflowing its banks.
Ineffective: The village had a population of seven thousand, and a typhoon struck it, and it was practically demolished.
Improved: The village, with its seven thousand people, was struck by a typhoon and practically demolished.
Ineffective: He was the mayor of the town, and he was a genial fellow, and he invited the four young boys into his study.
Improved: The mayor of the town, a genial fellow, invited the four young boys into his study.
Ineffective: The central plain holds Switzerland’s major manufacturing facilities and many of them specialize in high-quality and precision products.
Improved: The central plain holds Switzerland’s major manufacturing facilities, many of them specializing in high-quality, precision products.
Plain: I had always wanted to go to college, and I had always wished to become an engineer, and so I enrolled at Dalian University of Science and Technology
Interesting: Because I had always wanted to enter college and prepare myself to become an engineer, I enrolled at Dalian University of Science and Technology.
Or Better:
I enrolled at Dalian University of Science and Technology to achieve my double purpose of attending college and becoming an engineer.
Plain: Near the center of the campus of our university a new building has been erected, and it is constructed of red brick.
Better: A red-brick building has been erected near the center of our university campus.
或Near the center of our university campus is the brand new red-brick building.
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