匯豐銀行商務寫作教程(11)

Chapter 4

In Chapter 3, you learned how to
l draft a document and
l revise a document to make sure it is complete.
In this chapter you＇ll continue to learn how to revise what you write. You＇ll concentrate on the paragraphs of your written documents. In other words, you＇ll learn how to make your paragraphs cohesive.
Plan
Organise
Draft
Revise
Objectives
By the end of this chapter, you＇ll be able to revise your paragraphs and make them cohesive.
Do you know what cohesive means?
Cohesive: when all the parts are related to form a whole.
You＇ll make your paragraphs cohesive by learning two things:
1) define a cohesive paragraph and
2) write a cohesive paragraph using
a topic sentence
supporting sentences and
transitions.
Being Cohesive: What Is A Paragraph?
Look at the following letter. In Chapter 3, you revised it to make it complete. But something is still wrong. Do you know what it is?
22 April 200X
Ms Fiona Green
100 Clearwater Bay Road
Sai Kung NT
Dear Ms Green
PPS
I refer to your recent communication, and for your information please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to you at an earlier date. If you complete and return the form to us, we can process your application immediately. Thank you for your kind attention.
Yours sincerely
Clever Man

Answer:
Clever Man
Manager
Smart Branch
What＇s wrong with this letter?
Can you see that
it only has one paragraph?
the paragraph is very long?
there are several unrelated ideas in the paragraph?
As a result, the paragraph in this letter is not cohesive.
You need to revise paragraphs like this.
To achieve this, you need to know the answer to the following question:
What is a cohesive paragraph?
Before you can write a cohesive paragraph, you need to know what a cohesive paragraph is.
Do you know what a cohesive paragraph is?

Choose the option that you think best describes a cohesive paragraph.
1. A cohesive paragraph is one long sentence containing many unrelated ideas or subjects.
2. A cohesive paragraph is a group of unrelated sentences containing many unrelated ideas or subjects.
3. A cohesive paragraph is a group of sentences related to one another by a single idea or subject.
4. A cohesive paragraph is one long sentence containing one idea or subject.

Learning Point 1
A paragraph is a group of sentences related to one another by a single subject or idea.
All the sentences in a paragraph should be related to that one idea.
If they＇re related, then the paragraph will be cohesive.

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