Our School
our school
ladies and gentlemen,
this is the diagram of shanghai no. 102 middle school. it is 720 meters long and 480 meters wide. it is a pretty large middle school.
its gate faces south. when you enter into(1) gate, a beautiful flower garden comes into your view. here are various plants and flowers and also a pool of(2) green water and fish swimming free(3) . on the left of the garden is the school library building and on the right, the lab building. go further ∧(4) you will see a four-storeyed teaching building standing in the middle of the school. it is teaching office (5) at both ends. behind the teaching building is a large playground and besides (6) the playground is the dining hall. trees are planted all around the school. how beautiful the school looks! welcome to visit our school.
修改說(shuō)明
（1）enter為及物動(dòng)詞，應(yīng)直接跟賓語(yǔ)，去掉into。
（2）green water屬定語(yǔ)部分，所以of應(yīng)改為with。
（3）swim為行為動(dòng)詞，應(yīng)用副詞修飾，free應(yīng)改為freely。
（4）祈使句表?xiàng)l件時(shí)，應(yīng)用and或then引導(dǎo)連接結(jié)果分句。
（5）根據(jù)語(yǔ)境，office應(yīng)改為復(fù)數(shù)形式offices。
（6）表“在……旁邊”應(yīng)用beside而不用besides。
修改后的文章
our school
ladies and gentlemen,
this is the diagram of shanghai no. 102 middle school. it is 720 meters long and 480 meters wide. it is pretty large middle school.
its gate faces south. when you enter the gate, a beautiful flower garden comes into your view. here are various plants and flowers and also a pool with green water and fish swimming freely. on the left of the garden is the school library building and on the right, the lab building. go further and you will see a four-storeyed teaching building standing in the middle of the school. it was teaching offices at both ends. behind the teaching building is a large playground and beside the playground is the dining hall. trees are building is a large playground and beside the playground is the dining hall. trees are planted all around the school. how beautiful the school looks! welcome to visit our school.
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