What Mother Taught Me
My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done:
“If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!”
My mother taught me religion:
“You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
My mother taught me about time travel:
“If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
My mother taught me logic:
“Because I said so, that's why!”
My mother taught me foresight:
“Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident.”
My mother taught me about contortion:
“Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!”
My mother taught me about stamina:
“You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished.”
My mother taught me about weather:
“It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.”
My mother taught me how to solve physics problems:
“If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?”
My mother taught me about hypocrisy:
“If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!!!”
My mother taught me about envy:
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!”
翻譯提示：
母親教我的
我母親教我如何珍惜他人辛苦勞動(dòng)：
“如果你們要打架，到外邊打去――我剛整理好房間！”
我母親教我什么是宗教：
“你最好祈禱那個(gè)東西能從地毯下冒出來。”
我母親教我什么是時(shí)間旅行：
“你要是不改，我把你一把推到下周三！”(意為：不讓過周末。)
我母親教我什么是邏輯：
“為什么？因?yàn)槲揖褪沁@么說的！”
我母親教我什么是遠(yuǎn)見：
“一定要穿干凈內(nèi)衣，以防萬一你遇到事故。”
我母親教我什么是柔體雜技：
“你能不能看看你脖子后面的泥！”
我母親教我什么是耐力：
“坐在那兒，直到把所有的菠菜吃完。”
我母親教我認(rèn)識(shí)天氣：
“好像有龍卷風(fēng)席卷過你的房間。”
我母親教我如何解決物理學(xué)問題：
“如果我高聲叫喊，是因?yàn)槲铱匆娪幸活w流星正朝你俯沖而來，那你會(huì)不會(huì)聽我的話？”
我母親教我什么是偽善：
“如果我曾告訴過你一次，我實(shí)際上已告訴過你百萬次――不許夸張!!!”
我母親教我什么是嫉妒：
“這世界上有數(shù)百萬不幸的孩子，他們可沒有你這么好的父母。”
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