哲理美文欣賞:那些魅力超凡的人都有哪些習慣
有些人總能令人感到他們很重要。有些人總能令人感到他們很特別。有些人僅僅走進房間就能讓整個房間都充滿歡樂。
We can't always define it, but some people have it: They're naturally charismatic.
我們很難解釋，但有些人就是這樣：他們天生就充滿魅力。
Unfortunately, natural charisma quickly loses its impact. Familiarity breeds, well, familiarity.
很不幸，天生的魅力會很快就失去影響。熟悉總是會造成，唔，熟悉。
But some people are remarkably charismatic: They build and maintain great relationships, consistently influence (in a good way) the people around them, consistently make people feelbetter about themselves--they're the kind of people everyone wants to be around...and wantsto be.
不過有些人非常富有魅力：他們能建立并維持很好的人際關系、總能影響身邊的人(正面影響)、總能讓別人自我感覺更好——他們是那種人人都想和他們在一起……而且人人都想成為的那種人。
Fortunately we can, because being remarkably charismatic isn't about our level of success orour presentation skills or how we dress or the image we project--it's about what we do.
所幸的是我們可以成為那樣的人，因為構成超凡魅力的并不是我們的成功程度、演講能力又或是我們的穿著或外表——而是我們的所作所為。
Here are the 10 habits of remarkably charismatic people:
以下是那些具有超凡魅力的人們所擁有的10個習慣：
1. They listen way more than they talk.
1.聆聽遠多過訴說。
Ask questions. Maintain eye contact. Smile. Frown. Nod. Respond--not so much verbally, butnonverbally.
提問、眼神交流、微笑、蹙眉、點頭、回應——不需要太多的語言、只需要作出姿態。
That's all it takes to show the other person they're important.
就是要讓別人感到他們很重要。
Then when you do speak, don't offer advice unless you're asked. Listening shows you care a lotmore than offering advice, because when you offer advice in most cases you make theconversation about you, not them.
然后當你確實要說話的時候，對方沒有要求就不要提供建議。聆聽比提供建議更能體現你的關注，因為在大部分情況下，你提出建議時總會把話題轉移到你身上，而不是他們身上。
Don't believe me? Who is "Here's what I would do..." about: you or the other person?
不相信嗎?那么“如果是我會這么做”這句話是跟誰有關的?你還是對方?
Only speak when you have something important to say--and always define important as whatmatters to the other person, not to you.
僅當你有重要的話要說時才開口——并且請把“重要”定義為那些對對方很重要的事，而不是對你。
2. They don't practice selective hearing.
2.不會選擇性收聽。
Some people--I guarantee you know people like this--are incapable of hearing anything saidby the people they feel are somehow beneath them.
有些人——我保證你一定認識這樣的人——聽不進任何他們認為地位比他們低的人講話。
Sure, you speak to them, but that particular falling tree doesn't make a sound in the forest, because there's no one actually listening.
是的，你跟他們講話，就好像森林中的一顆大樹倒下卻發不出一點聲音似的，因為根本沒人在聽。
Remarkably charismatic people listen closely to everyone, and they make all of us, regardlessof our position or social status or "level," feel like we have something in common with them.
具有超凡魅力的人會親切地聆聽每個人講話，而且他們會令所有人都感覺不到自己的職位、社會地位或者“檔次”，而是覺得我們和他們是有共同點的。
Because we do: We're all people.
因為我們確實有共同點：我們都是人。
3. They put their stuff away.
3.把自己的事情放一邊。
Don't check your phone. Don't glance at your monitor. Don't focus on anything else, even fora moment.
不要查看你的手機，不要盯著你的屏幕，不要關注于別的事情上，一秒也不要。
You can never connect with others if you're busy connecting with your stuff, too.
如果你忙于處理自己的事情，你就永遠不能和其他人產生聯系。
Give the gift of your full attention. That's a gift few people give. That gift alone will make otherswant to be around you and remember you.
向別人賦予充分的重視。只有少部分人能做到如此。僅僅靠著這份“饋贈”，就能讓別人愿意和你在一起，并且記住你。
4. They give before they receive--and often they never receive.
4.獲取前先付出——而且經常根本就不獲取。
Never think about what you can get. Focus on what you can provide. Giving is the only way toestablish a real connection and relationship.
永遠不要想你能得到什么。關注于你能提供什么。付出是建立真正的聯系和關系的唯一途徑。
5. They don't act self-important…
5.不會表現得妄自尊大……
The only people who are impressed by your stuffy, pretentious, self-important self are otherstuffy, pretentious, self-important people.
唯一會被你那沉悶的、自命不凡的、妄自尊大的自我意識所觸動的只會是那些同樣沉悶、自命不凡、妄自尊大的人。
The rest of us aren't impressed. We're irritated, put off, and uncomfortable.
剩下的人不會被觸動，而會被惹惱、會感到反感和不舒服。
And we hate when you walk in the room.
而且你進屋時會被討厭。
6. …Because they realize other people are more important.
6.意識到其他人更加重要。
You already know what you know. You know your opinions. You know your perspectives andpoints of view.
你已經知道了你所知道的事情。你知道你的選擇，知道你的觀點和看法。
That stuff isn't important, because it's already yours. You can't learn anything from yourself.
這些東西都不重要，因為它們已經是你的了。你從自己身上學不到任何東西。
But you don't know what other people know, and everyone, no matter who they are, knowsthings you don't know.
但你不知道別人知道些什么。而每個人，不管是誰，都知道些你所不知道的事情。
That makes them a lot more important than you--because they're people you can learn from.
這使得他們遠遠要比你重要——因為他們是那些你能從他們身上學到東西的人。
7. They shine the spotlight on others.
7.把聚光燈打在別人身上。
No one receives enough praise. No one. Tell people what they did well.
沒人受夠了表揚。沒有人。告訴別人他們干得很棒吧。
Wait, you say you don't know what they did well?
等等，你說你不知道他們哪兒干得棒了?
Shame on you--it's your job to know. It's your job to find out ahead of time.
你太丟臉啦——你的任務就是去了解。你的任務就是提前去找出那些事兒來。
Not only will people appreciate your praise, they'll appreciate the fact you care enough to payattention to what they're doing.
人們不但會感激你的贊揚，更會因你關注他們所做的事兒而心懷感激。
Then they'll feel a little more accomplished and a lot more important.
然后他們就會感到一點小小的成就感，還會大大地感到自己更重要了。
8. They choose their words.
8.斟詞酌句
The words you use impact the attitude of others.
你講話的用詞會影響別人的看法。
For example, you don't have to go to a meeting; you get to go meet with other people. Youdon't have to create a presentation for a new client; you get to share cool stuff with otherpeople. You don't have to go to the gym; you get to work out and improve your health andfitness.
舉例來說，你不應說你“要去開會”，而要說你“要去和別人會面”;你不應說你“要為新客戶制作演示”，而要說你“想和其他人分享一些很酷的東西”;你不應說你“要去健身房”，而要說你“想出去鍛煉鍛煉，改善你的健康”。
You don't have to interview job candidates; you get to select a great person to join yourteam.
你不應說你要“面試一些求職者”，而要說你“要選擇一位了不起的人加入你的團隊”。
We all want to associate with happy, enthusiastic, fulfilled people. The words you choose canhelp other people feel better about themselves--and make you feel better about yourself, too.
我們都希望和那些快樂、有熱情、充實的人打交道。你的用詞會讓其他人自我感覺更好——并且也讓你自己的自我感覺更好。
9. They don't discuss the failings of others...
9.不去討論別人的失敗……
Granted, we all like hearing a little gossip. We all like hearing a little dirt.
是的，我們都喜歡聽一點小道消息。我們都喜歡聽一些流言蜚語。
The problem is, we don't necessarily like--and we definitely don't respect--the people who dishthat dirt.
問題是，我們不一定喜歡——而且絕對不會尊敬——那些散布流言蜚語的人。
Don't laugh at other people. When you do, the people around you wonder if you sometimeslaugh at them.
不要嘲笑別人。當你這么做的時候，你身邊的人會想，你是不是有時也會嘲笑他們。
10. ...But they readily admit their failings.
10.……但會欣然承認自己的失敗。
Be humble. Share your screwups. Admit your mistakes. Be the cautionary tale. And laugh atyourself.
表現得謙遜一些，與人分享你的糗事，承認你犯下的錯誤。充當反面教材，并且自嘲。
While you should never laugh at other people, you should always laugh at yourself.
雖然你永遠都不該嘲笑別人，你卻總是應該自嘲。
People won't laugh at you. People will laugh laugh with you.
人們不會嘲笑你的。人們只會和你一起歡笑。
They'll like you better for it--and they'll want to be around you a lot more.
他們會因此更喜歡你——而且他們會更樂意和你在一起。
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