2010年雅思大作文點評:是否應(yīng)該禁止動物實驗
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Some people think we should ban animal experiments. Others think it is necessary for the development of science. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
We all knows（主謂一致錯誤） that science researches（scientific research是不是更好呢？！） need experiments. And lots of experiments especially medical and pharmaceutical experiments have the animals, like dogs and monkeys, involved. When coming across the question:” Are animal experiments should be banned （低級錯誤！！！應(yīng)該為should animal experiments be banned!!!）?” , people’s opinions differ. (41words)
結(jié)構(gòu)點評：此段沒有明確表達作者自己的觀點，而是通過最后１句引出下文，寫得還比較自然。但是，大家要明白一點，第１段還是明確提出自己觀點的好，因為這個常規(guī)寫法，最主要的是因為考官期望在第１段看到你的觀點！！！
語言方面：小錯誤很多，而且還有非常低級的錯誤，我的預(yù)判是，５分的水平。
Some people think we should ban animal experiments. They argue that animals are friends of human beings. Some animals such as dogs accompany with（accompany是及物動詞，不需要with） children and bring happiness to families. If animals are tested, they are(應(yīng)該用將來時吧) definitely hurt, even killed by experiments. It is so cruel for the lovely animals. Animals are so innocent that they should not be hurt. It is so selfish for people to carry on（應(yīng)該是carry out吧） experiments on animals. （72words）
Others hold the opinion that animal experiments are necessary for the development of science. Without animal experiments, medicine won’t be allowed to apply to the human being for its danger. And the animal experiment is the best way to know ourselves（這句話我不是很理解！！！）. We can take the advantage of the animals to test new drugs. (53words)
正文段總評：此篇文章用的是正反兩段論的正文段寫法，即正文段寫兩段，一段是支持的觀點；一段是反對的觀點；分別就兩種觀點進行分析。這種寫法是大作文比較常見的一種寫法，還是值得一用的。
語言方面：錯誤是有的，但相對來說是少了一些，主要原因是作者采用了許多簡單的表達方式，所以不太容易犯錯。這種寫法最多可以達到６分。所以對一些英語基礎(chǔ)一般，也不需要很高的作文分數(shù)的考生來說，是一種不錯的寫作策略！！！
As to myself, I agree with the latter. I love animals. But the life and health of human beings outweigh it. In the case of disease, such as SARS, animal experiment is inevitable to be carried. The sacrifice of animals is worthy(用worthwhile是不是比較好呢), if compared with that of people. It doesn’t mean we are permitted to kill animals. We should protect the animal unless we have no other way to choose. In short, although we should protect animals, animal experiment is still necessary for the development of science. （253words）
總評：５分。整篇文章從結(jié)構(gòu)和內(nèi)容來說都比較清楚。唯一不足的地方就是沒有什么好詞好句以及一些小錯誤。
這樣的文章比較實用，對于基礎(chǔ)一般的學(xué)生可以采用這種寫作方式，還是非常實用的！！！
本文標(biāo)題：2010年雅思大作文點評:是否應(yīng)該禁止動物實驗 - 雅思作文_雅思寫作_雅思范文We all knows（主謂一致錯誤） that science researches（scientific research是不是更好呢？！） need experiments. And lots of experiments especially medical and pharmaceutical experiments have the animals, like dogs and monkeys, involved. When coming across the question:” Are animal experiments should be banned （低級錯誤！！！應(yīng)該為should animal experiments be banned!!!）?” , people’s opinions differ. (41words)
結(jié)構(gòu)點評：此段沒有明確表達作者自己的觀點，而是通過最后１句引出下文，寫得還比較自然。但是，大家要明白一點，第１段還是明確提出自己觀點的好，因為這個常規(guī)寫法，最主要的是因為考官期望在第１段看到你的觀點！！！
語言方面：小錯誤很多，而且還有非常低級的錯誤，我的預(yù)判是，５分的水平。
Some people think we should ban animal experiments. They argue that animals are friends of human beings. Some animals such as dogs accompany with（accompany是及物動詞，不需要with） children and bring happiness to families. If animals are tested, they are(應(yīng)該用將來時吧) definitely hurt, even killed by experiments. It is so cruel for the lovely animals. Animals are so innocent that they should not be hurt. It is so selfish for people to carry on（應(yīng)該是carry out吧） experiments on animals. （72words）
Others hold the opinion that animal experiments are necessary for the development of science. Without animal experiments, medicine won’t be allowed to apply to the human being for its danger. And the animal experiment is the best way to know ourselves（這句話我不是很理解！！！）. We can take the advantage of the animals to test new drugs. (53words)
正文段總評：此篇文章用的是正反兩段論的正文段寫法，即正文段寫兩段，一段是支持的觀點；一段是反對的觀點；分別就兩種觀點進行分析。這種寫法是大作文比較常見的一種寫法，還是值得一用的。
語言方面：錯誤是有的，但相對來說是少了一些，主要原因是作者采用了許多簡單的表達方式，所以不太容易犯錯。這種寫法最多可以達到６分。所以對一些英語基礎(chǔ)一般，也不需要很高的作文分數(shù)的考生來說，是一種不錯的寫作策略！！！
As to myself, I agree with the latter. I love animals. But the life and health of human beings outweigh it. In the case of disease, such as SARS, animal experiment is inevitable to be carried. The sacrifice of animals is worthy(用worthwhile是不是比較好呢), if compared with that of people. It doesn’t mean we are permitted to kill animals. We should protect the animal unless we have no other way to choose. In short, although we should protect animals, animal experiment is still necessary for the development of science. （253words）
總評：５分。整篇文章從結(jié)構(gòu)和內(nèi)容來說都比較清楚。唯一不足的地方就是沒有什么好詞好句以及一些小錯誤。
這樣的文章比較實用，對于基礎(chǔ)一般的學(xué)生可以采用這種寫作方式，還是非常實用的！！！
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