BEC寫作：BEC名師點評網友作文:Write an email to your team

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　　本期作文題目

　　You need to inform your marketing team about a radio advertising campaign for one of your company's new products.

　　Write an email to your team:

　　* reminding tehm which new product it is

　　* explaining why you've chosen to advertise on radio

　　* saying what you expect the advertising campaign to achieve.

　　Write 40-50 words.

　　Sample:

　　It is believed that everyone knows about our new product - TE 128, which will be launch ed recently. We will use radio advertising owing to our budget . I hope that the campaign will cover most of the cusomters we are having now and bring new ones.

　　網友作文一：

　　Dear All,

　　Our new product advertising campain[1] for A02 auto-navigating instrument[2] is coming soon. As you know, radio is the most available for drivers. I believe we will make a gorgeous advertisement suitable for them.

　　_________________________________________

　　[1]這個名詞結構太長了，另外主體不清楚啊。看清楚題目要求，先remind 大家一下，可以用很多表示提醒的結構。

　　[2]英文中的"設備"有很多個詞，這個詞適合樂器，應該搭配musical instrument, 這個地方比較合適用facility 或者 equipment

　　網友作文二：

　　To: marketing team

　　Fr: coco218

　　Date: Dec. 15th,2008

　　Subject:a radio advertising campaign for new products

　　Dear teammate,

　　A new mobile phone[1] will be the next NEW ARRIVAL.And it will be advertised on radio because of our short of money[2] .I hope our marketing team could make out an attactive advertisement and the sale would hit 20% of the market share[3].

　　Thanks.

　　Regards.

　　_________________________________________

　　[1]這不對吧，你們公司原來不是做mobile phone 的?改為 new product 比較合適。

　　[2]Shortage of money

　　[3]畫蛇添足，sale 就是可以沖擊新高的，這和market share 有什么關系。

　　網友作文三：

　　To:All stuff

　　From:Manager

　　Date:Dec.16th 2008

　　Subject:a radio advertisement of our new products

　　I want to inform you our radio campaign for the new medicine.I think[1] many elders often listen to the radio and they are the are[2] in most need of our products,also advertising on radio is much cheaper than on TV,we can have more profits[3] or bring down the price[4].

　　Thank you.

　　_________________________________________

　　[1]去掉這種主觀的表達。直接用后面的主語開頭。

　　[2]改為the ones

　　[3]Maximize the margins.

　　[4]去掉

　　網友作文四：

　　To: Marketing team

　　From: Alvin

　　Subject: radio advertising campaign for inverter transformer

　　Dear All,

　　The inverter transformer[1], as a new product of our company, need an advertisment now. Taking the aim customers'[2] habit into consideration, we decide to advertise on radio. We expect to make people accept our new product and get sale amount of 5 million USD within the first two months.

　　Thanks!

　　Best Regards!

　　_________________________________________

　　[1]既然是個產品，首字母應該大寫

　　[2]這個叫target customer

　　網友作文五：

　　To: all salesmen

　　From: Joe Lee, Marketing Manager

　　Subject: launching an ad on radio

　　I would like to inform all of you that I decide[1] to launch the advertisement of our new product of earphone on radio in that students are one of the major audience of radio and they are also our main consumers.[2]

　　_________________________________________

　　[1]改為：it is decided that.....

　　[2]整個句子太長了

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